Hand written notes.
Yer gonna get a cap in yo ass for eatin' the wrong burrito! And I thought burrito was an affectionate name, in Spanish, for a donkey.
Dwyer apparently is a passive man. Or Sean's much bigger than Dwyer. If this had happened to me I'd have cracked Sean on the bonce and then some. And I wouldn't have waited either.
You draw your own conclusions....
No. Not the lame ass Jodie Foster movie (it still drives me nuts that I actually watched the bloody movie). But instead, proof that aliens have been amongst us. Some of these aliens found a dealer on some dark street corner and bought some weed. Here's proof.
That's why they keep coming back. They like to have a choof. And anal probes? They've learnt that smuggler mules stuff drugs up their chutsies. They just haven't realised that the one time they stumbled on to a drug mule and discovered his stash was one in a few million.
Fuck watching the skies. You're better off watching out for your own ass.
Some gems. From collegehumor.com
Fido's Revenge
Freedom of Choice
SPGs take note
Justifying all the lawyer jokes
Don't ask. I don't know. I don't want to know.
Shock news! Bob the Builder is a closet Nazi! A disgruntled employee has leaked the cover of an unreleased Bob the Builder book! Unreleased apparently under the advice of Bob's lawyers and publicists!
Blood is thicker than water.
It is.
I have cousins who live abroad. I don't see them often as is expected. The number of times can be counted on the fingers on one hand. I don't know them. My cousin Sarah flew in and did a mini tour with her boyfriend and it included visiting my parents in Ipoh, my sister in Singapore and here in KL, there's me. As adults, this is only the second time I've seen her and the time before this one was during our grandfather's funeral. Not exactly the best time.
This is my cousin and yet it was almost like meeting someone for the first time. Sarah's father is Norwegian and so she grew up there and now she's residing in London. We played together as kids. A long time ago. When my aunt visited and she came along. I know her brother even less.
We got to chill together. Last night, I brought her and her boyfriend out of KL and to Black Canyon in Centrepoint BU. Dinner and coffee. It was great. But there was no great abandonment in conversation. I don't know Sarah and she doesn't know me. As persons. As individuals. We were only scraping the surface to getting to know one another.
After a good meal, coffee and conversation, I dropped them back at their hotel in KL. As I was driving home, I felt a little empty. Like something had been lost. I probably won't see Sarah again for years and it did make me a little sad. We still don't know each other well. There's only that much can be done with so little time. Blood is thicker than water. I may not know my cousin but last night I realised that regardless, because she is my cousin, I do love her. She's family.
Absolute quiet in the office. Everyone present is staring at their respective computer screens. All of a sudden, out of the blue, *click*. The simulated sound of a camera is heard echoing through the office.
Everyone turns to look in my direction. This is what they see.
Just trying out the some of the kitchen supply samples.
It's going to be a hard week. If I can't laugh maybe you can.
I remarked to a friend that I'd seen once in a while, not often, female bloggers trying on clothes in a store's changing room.
What? Startled him I did. I hope he didn't mention it on the air (the guy's a radio DJ).
It's like this. Girl tries on various clothes in a store changing room. Takes pictures with digital cam or cell phone camera. Next is to post the pictures on their respective blogs with a light hearted appeal for someone to sponsor the various articles of clothing. Thankfully (or unfortunately), no one's appealed for underwear as yet.
To be honest, what it is, as I see it.... is that the bloggers I've seen do this aren't seriously asking anyone to buy the clothes for them. And I'm not sure how they would react if anyone seriously offered to buy things for them. It's just a blog thing. I'm pretty sure the Japanese enjo kosai culture isn't prevalent here. What is it? Compensated dating is what it translates to.
As for me, I'm a slut. If you're young, female and remotely attractive, I will gladly sleep with you for a new pair of footy socks. Oh, plain black or white only please.
Because my shin guards are silver and black, I get called Robocop or Terminator at footy. I don't think it's a compliment though!
They're implying I'm too cheap to buy new socks. They're probably right!
Phone conversation between mother and 6 year old daughter.
"Where's daddy?"
"Daddy's in his house."
"Why isn't daddy with you?"
"Daddy's in a bad mood."
"Oh. It's okay. I'm in JB."
My little angel that one.
This picture got me through a lot of difficulty and frustration at my first job years ago. I found it recently hidden away in an old email when I cleaned out my hard drive.
Well, here we go. In no particular order.
1. The tramp stamp.
No further elaboration necessary.
2. The belly ring.
Looks best on tanned women with flat bellies.
3. The tongue piercing.
Looks best when glimpses are made possible with an open-mouthed laugh.
4. Cleavage.
Boob cleavage or butt cleavage. Just bring it eh? I must confess to liking boob cleavage more though!
5. Low cuts on slim hips.
One of the better recent trends. I remember the first noticeable one. Britney Spears in the Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman video. She must have had to get out a Gillette to pull it off. Of course since we've learnt that her Gillette does get regular use.
As Levi's put it on their lowcut jeans webpage: "Well below the natural hips."
6. Short shorts.
The original woohoo! hot pants, cutoff jeans. Though I must confess to liking black skin-tight shorts more ala Mutya Buena in the Push The Button video. Catherine Bach as Daisy Duke first set loins aflame with the cutoff jeans. Recently the torch was passed on to Jessica Simpson.
7. Tan lines.
Tan lines are sexy. I like tanned women. They look healthier and sportier. Swim suit lines with a sexy top is a great favourite.
8. Confidence.
Confidence as in a woman who knows herself and likes herself. Does not need to impress or be impressed.
9. Vivaciousness.
Happy. Fun loving. Cheerful. Sexy.
10. Natural look. Less or no makeup.
A woman who's beautiful without makeup is a beautiful woman. Full stop.
By now you must have realised I'm like the black sheep uncle in the family that all the other adults try to ignore and keep their children away from.
Anyway.
I'll be the first to admit that this new bedsheet set is not me at all.
But.
I bought it anyway.
Because.
At this point in time it looks like the only way I'm going to get pussies on my bed.
Sigh.
I've been having fun recently. Feel free to argue the 'best' sequence for stompbox types. This is mine.
F1 is coming to town! While staying on topic and flying off tangent all at the same time, here are a few pictures.
It's meant to show you Kimi Raikonnen's frickin' cool motorcycle. But what is obvious to me from the photos, is the the man also owns a Ferrari Enzo.
Prick.
More lovely photos from Attu. First edition here. Why not contribute captions? Mine are below the pictures. Obviously!
Goddammit bitch! I told you not to wear low cut tops and sit near the door! Now people think you're the damn ticket machine!
Where Jim-Bob at? Oh. Dang.
Oh yeah bay-bee.... yeah.... yeah beb-bee....
With that last picture of the happy dog I actually wanted to make some reference to the word 'bitch' in its proper context i.e. female dog and current popular usage. But somehow I didn't work. I think it's come to the point where the word has had its meaning permanently altered. It seems irreversible.
What did you call my dog? A nice what?
So that's the reason why ol' Ron's always smiling. And I thought it was because he makes billions by selling bits-of-animal-inna-bun that no one would eat at a dinner table but will happily wolf down in a fast food restaurant.*
* - Comment is just for comedic purposes. I don't want to get sued for slander and libel. For the record, I occasionally eat bits-of-animal-inna-bun and enjoy it.
Whatever you do.... if you're in the army.... DON'T piss off your superior officer.
Volvo tried really hard to revamp their image of making boxy boring tanks (sorry, cars) and station wagons (again, sorry, estates) and I think they succeeded of late. Volvo make some really nice cars now. In my opinion, they could have saved the millions upon millions that they spent on R&D, design and all that jazz. This picture proves Volvo's don't need to be boring. I just wonder what mum said when she saw her car the morning after her teenager borrowed it to go out on a date.
Aaaahhhhh..... the wonder that the world has. That an old jaded relic like myself in the new digital age of the internet, satellite TV and cell phones can learn something new. Last year I wrote in my original blog introducing a word to whoever read it. It wasn't a new word to me but it puzzled me that so many people had no idea what it was or meant.
I pinched the posting and posted it here November last year. Here's the link: Learn a New Word Today
And I have a new word for you kiddies today. It starts with the question: What is the opposite of (boob) cleavage? The answer and your new word for the day is neathage (as in a combination of beneath and cleavage). Also known as Australian cleavage cos obviously it's down under of a boob or a pair of boobs.
And you lucky lucky people I have a picture of an example of neathage for you. It's the cover of the Chocolate and Cheese album by Ween. Enjoy!
This is neathage!
