How to Remove a Toenail

You pull it out. D-uh!

Top 10 things I like on women

Well, here we go. In no particular order.

1. The tramp stamp.

No further elaboration necessary.



2. The belly ring.

Looks best on tanned women with flat bellies.



3. The tongue piercing.

Looks best when glimpses are made possible with an open-mouthed laugh.



4. Cleavage.

Boob cleavage or butt cleavage. Just bring it eh? I must confess to liking boob cleavage more though!



5. Low cuts on slim hips.

One of the better recent trends. I remember the first noticeable one. Britney Spears in the Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman video. She must have had to get out a Gillette to pull it off. Of course since we've learnt that her Gillette does get regular use.

As Levi's put it on their lowcut jeans webpage: "Well below the natural hips."



6. Short shorts.

The original woohoo! hot pants, cutoff jeans. Though I must confess to liking black skin-tight shorts more ala Mutya Buena in the Push The Button video. Catherine Bach as Daisy Duke first set loins aflame with the cutoff jeans. Recently the torch was passed on to Jessica Simpson.



7. Tan lines.

Tan lines are sexy. I like tanned women. They look healthier and sportier. Swim suit lines with a sexy top is a great favourite.



8. Confidence.

Confidence as in a woman who knows herself and likes herself. Does not need to impress or be impressed.



9. Vivaciousness.

Happy. Fun loving. Cheerful. Sexy.



10. Natural look. Less or no makeup.

A woman who's beautiful without makeup is a beautiful woman. Full stop.

Your hand! No no! Your HAND!

I was reading Mischique's blog and I had another one of them famous flashbacks.

Flashback #26B532

My very first job was with an IT department in its infancy. Early on I was tasked with my colleague to prepare a room for training purposes. This involved setting up PCs connected to a server. Lots of wiring required. I had a colleague with me. Young, female, Chinese-Malay hybrid. A bit skinny but had a nice rack on that frame.

We were working late and the warehouse had shut down. When we were done the guy that was locking up came upstairs to shut up shop and my colleague and I headed for the stairs. I made it, she didn't. She was right behind me and I had my feet on the top stairs of the staircase. That's when the lights went out.

It was like being in a cave. You couldn't see your hand in front of your face.

She was a bit freaked out cos she knew the stairs were just in front of her but she couldn't see anything. One wrong step and she'd have gone crashing down the stairs and probably taken me with her too. I told her to chill out and to give me her hand which I would put on the banister for her. I reached out, she reached out and somewhere along the way we missed each others' hands while groping about. Grope indeed. I groped around and put my hand square on one of her lovely breasts.

The next few seconds were chaotic.

She screamed. I gasped.

Since I knew where her boob was, I could locate her shoulder, then her arm and eventually her hand. I placed it on the banister for her and thundered down the stairs in the complete darkness.

She came down the stairs at a more sedate pace and nothing more was said, mentioned or hinted.

She did buy me dinner though!

Another New Word

Aaaahhhhh..... the wonder that the world has. That an old jaded relic like myself in the new digital age of the internet, satellite TV and cell phones can learn something new. Last year I wrote in my original blog introducing a word to whoever read it. It wasn't a new word to me but it puzzled me that so many people had no idea what it was or meant.

I pinched the posting and posted it here November last year. Here's the link: Learn a New Word Today

And I have a new word for you kiddies today. It starts with the question: What is the opposite of (boob) cleavage? The answer and your new word for the day is neathage (as in a combination of beneath and cleavage). Also known as Australian cleavage cos obviously it's down under of a boob or a pair of boobs.

And you lucky lucky people I have a picture of an example of neathage for you. It's the cover of the Chocolate and Cheese album by Ween. Enjoy!


This is neathage!

Janice's Nipples

Ah hah! First person to bite! From the Nipples posting! Well no. Not really. Janice is a buddy and (I hope) regular reader. She left this comment:

"Janice said...

Male or female nipples? I like male nipples. I have also heard the Asian female nipples are larger than Guilow female nipples. Men also get a kick from having their nipples *ahem-ed*.

Sorry, in a nipply mood :D"

Since I like Janice heaps, I shall respond to her comment in a posting rather than a counter comment, which is what I had originally started to do before deciding to honour her. I've even named the posting after her.

Well Janice, I'm primarily and exclusively interested in female nipples and what they are attached to. About nipple size, circumference, shape and colour, I don't really think it's a race thing. It's more an individual thing. I think I've been up close and personal with enough of them and from an adequate variety of nationalities to confirm that. The general rule is, that nipples should be darker than skin colour. Remember that one. It's another one of my master strokes of genius.

What is *ahem-ed*? Bitten? Burnt? Twisted? Kicked? Pinched? Jeezuz. Poor Victor. Or is that why he's gonna propose? Hahaha!!

Nipples Nipples Nipples!!!

I just had a look at my blog statistics on statcounter. The most popular page is the blog posting titled Upper Class Nipples. It wasn't even about sex or nudity for that mattter! Some visitors came from a blog search of the word 'nipple' or 'nipples'. My stats just after the posting shot up significantly. No doubt this posting will create its own spike in site visitors. With a title like Nipples!!! x 3, I'll have people flocking to my blog once again. I think it's funny but at the same time not very good cos it creates the false spike which means only half the people (or less) are actually reading what I write.

Nipples!

Well, I guess it can be understood. People like a background to their fantasies. No doubt blogs about an active sex life are extremely popular as there is the realism factor involved. That's why reality shows are so popular. Thems real peoples with real names and not acting. I'd bet a female exhibitionist blog would be even more popular. Well, until the blogger realises that there's money to be made as an amateur website. Unless the blogger is a pure blogger of course.

Nipples!

I'm expecting another huge statistical spike from this posting. So, before I sign off, I've just one last thing to say. Yeh, no prizes for guessing....

NIPPLES!!!

Upper Class Nipples

Spent the day with Greg - my buddy, footy team mate and all round good guy from my days in Perth. Well, for all the gloss Singapore has, apparently it’s run like it’s a Sdn Bhd (Pty Ltd). Well, no matter. There isn’t a country in the world where there isn’t any corruption within the government. Or stupidity for that matter. That kind of thing abounds in politics. The only thing that proliferates more than stupidity is greed. Basically Greg bitched about the government half the time.

Anyway, happy thoughts. After all, I am on holiday.

I bought footy gear in Queensway Shopping Centre. Good stuff, cheaper than if I’d bought it in KL although I’ve never seen fingerless Adidas Sala keeper gloves in KL before.

I’ve been eating really really well since I got here. I didn’t have, in the end, teppanyaki like I said I was going to have. I had instead soup, ciabatta bread and spaghetti carbonara for dinner. Coffee and a really fantastic cheesecake for dessert. I was doing the blogger thing at first, which was taking pictures of my food. I first took a picture of the ciabatta bread and olive oil.

Next I took a picture of my soup which was served in a really unusual but attractive soup bowl.

I had wanted to take a picture of my carbonara as well except that by then I didn’t want to (didn’t dare) bring out my camera phone anymore.

I’ll explain why.

In the table in front of me, there was a young attractive Singaporean mother with her two young children. I think junior needed a feed so she popped a tit out and plugged the baby in. With junior being fed, there was no way I was going to be seen with a camera in my hand.

I remember going out with Cynthia when Joshua was just a wee baby. When he needed a feed she placed a large napkin (or nappy) over Joshua and herself. I already remember being a little taken aback then. This was the same only a bit more with the being taken aback.

I dined in a posh restaurant today too. Young attractive Singaporean mother had an upper class accent.

In conclusion, upper class nipples are light brown.

Singapore – Day 2

Friday Night. Heritage Row.

Friday night. Same old same old. We start at The Ivy at 10:30pm and make our way through our favourite clubs. Which is about standard operating procedure for us now. The unpredictability of the club scene on the weekend in KL decided that that Friday was when everyone decided to haunt Heritage Row. Plenty of things going on and lots of beautiful people around. The strip was bouncin'.

Observing what was going on around me, there were underage girls at one of the clubs. Any intention or idea to follow up on them quickly evaporated when Max overheard them in the washrooms and sussed out they were 16 to 17 years of age. Right.

Another good piece of advice for anyone who's taken out a bevy of beauties is to make sure you have a bottle on the table and obviously drinks for the girls. If you don't, your harem is in danger of becoming spread out to all points of the compass in the room.

I don't get single pervs wondering around alone who try to schmooze on girls. Especially if they're with a large group which contains 75% testosterone.

It's very interesting to see social and sexual hierarchy within a group. Can be quite interesting. My role is the guy everyone likes and thinks is nice. That's not good. Trust me. It's not.

Max is a champion. He scored on two different women that night. Might have been quickies in some quiet (or not so quiet) corner but I don't think he's complaining.

Lastly, thanks to the girls for universally deciding to expose acres of cleavage that night. The prize though has to go to Nat who went as far as to have a nipple pop out of her top.

See you on the strip next week.

Cold Nuts

I'm feeling particular and unusual. I had a good day on the fantasy football league and I'm feeling really happy. I'm about to have a shower and hit the sack. I think I will do something outrageous before I do. I am going to go have my smoko. I intend to stand in my porch butt naked and have a cigarette. The last time I did this I was in Perth and it was -3 degrees C. It was a balcony that time not a porch. This is not a clever statement. This is just me flipping the bird at society. I'm sure the alcohol I have consumed tonight has nothing to do with it!