What's in a name?

Discussions not to have in public: Names you would NOT give to your children.

For the simple reasons such as:

1. You know too many people with the name.
2. You don't like the name.
3. You don't like somebody who goes by the name.
4. It's not the sort of name you'd name your kids.
5. It's a plain stupid name for a little chinese kid to have.

Anyway, the list got long and it's only a matter of time before you hit someone near you who may or may not be intentionally listening. One girl walked off with in a huff. She quite likely goes by one of these names:

Doris, Phyllis, Mabel, Gladys, Arthur, Albert, Aloysius, William, Marion, Fanny (pussy in England, ass in the US), Britney (for obvious reasons), Paris (for Obvious OBVIOUS reasons), Tata (the name of a little Eurasian ho' and an Indian motor manufacturer), Jamie, Lynn, Traci, Brittany, Chloe (Aussie stripper name), Zoe (Aussie stripper name), Christina, Cynthia (for some reason, most Cynthias I know are rather naughty), Madison (not even a proper name until the movie Splash!), George (tea and crumpets with that?), Elizabeth, Victoria, Henry, Herbert, Hector, Molly, Carol, Jenna (porn name, 41 women have used the name according to IAFD), Ashley (porn name, 141 women, source: IAFD), Shanice, Connor (white name), Wyatt (Super White name), Dylan, Tyrone (black name), Benjamin, Michael (other kids will call him Mai Kai Tan because kids are mean little bastards), Samuel (too bible for me), John (John is slang for the toilet, a prostitute's customer, and add 'Doe' and you've got an unidentified dead body), Jane (Plain Jane, Jane Doe), Peter (slang for penis though it doesn't sound like one particularly impressive in size, length and girth), Richard (in England, Dick is short for Richard, don't ask me why) Tiffany (I always think of a spoilt little rich bitch, probably because of the jewelery company), Jessie (popular self bestowed name from my time), Ricky (popular self bestowed name from my parents time), Brandon, Fiona (a slut I knew and I mean a slut), and on and on (my head hurts).

No abbreviated names (or cute names). I'd rather give a full name and abbreviate it myself informally. No Andy, Billy, Mickey, Vicky, Ricky, Dicky, Nicky, Rick, Dick, Nick, Terry, Davy, Danny, Frankie, Larry, Robbie and crappy likey that.

Also no names which are obviously going to explode with this generation. No David (of 1.3 million Davids on planet Earth born in the last 6 years, 680 000 of them are named after David Beckham primarily by middle class asian families. Well. No. I made that up!), Wayne, Steven, Gerrard, Britney, Ronald (anyone dare add an 'o'?), I know one Malay kid is named Zidain in tribute to the mad head butting French genius (before the head butting incident though). My footy buddy Ross named his kid, Kino after Roy Keane then discovered the alternate spelling is a Japanese casino game. Sometimes kids get named after celebrities. My friend Kevin is named after Kevin Keagan. Someone special I know is named after Natalie Wood. Heck, I knew a girl named Domino, her dad's a James Bond fan. It'd be a great story if her sisters' names were Pussy, Kissy, Bibi and had chinese names like Chew Mee. Unfortunately for this story, they have rather normal names. Still, I dare asian families to name their kids Beyonce and Rihanna.

And finally - English Names Chinese Stars Give Themselves - Hakken, Koma, Banky, Chelsia, Natalis, Power, Sammul, Clifton, Devily, Loletta, Gallen, Halina, Tavia, Ridley, Myolie, and on and on and on. I'm sure it's only a matter of time before There's an Orgasm Lee or a Clitoris Lam.

If you go by one of those names, no offense meant eh? What worked for your parents (assuming if you have an English name, it's one you didn't give yourself) might not work for me. For the record, I don't have and I don't use an English name. I don't go by any name my folks didn't give me. Many of my old schoolmates go by English names now. To make it easier for work I guess. I refuse to.

Names are important. Your kid's identity relies on your judgement. Unless you can afford the psychiatric bills eh? Go Moon Unit!