Saturday, April 28, 2007

Whoops

Well.

I have no idea what happened.

Apparently when you view this blog with MS Internet Explorer, it turns out to be gray. With the white lettering, of course it then becomes unintelligible. If you'd been viewing with Mozilla Firefox, you'd have seen it as I had intended it to be.

So. I've had to change the template again. All the hours I put in yesterday working on the template is for Sweet FA.

Oh for Aunt Fanny in a bucket.

What's with Bill Gates? Why can my blog be seen in full glory using Mozilla but is a complete lump of mud with IE?

Whatever it is. Bill Gates is an alien. You know how I know? Watch Independence Day with Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum.

You remember that bit where Jeff Goldblum uploads a virus into the alien mothership servers? For that to have worked, he'd have to have to have his laptop able to communicate with the network on the alien mothership just to have a connection.

Connected? Yes. Here's how:

Start -> Connect To -> Show all connections -> Wireless Network Connection -> Refresh Network List -> Gates Mothership

He didn't even secure his wireless network. I suppose he figured anything close enough to piggyback the wireless network of a heavily armed mothership would be friendly or suicidal.

Most importantly, he would have to have a virus that would actually affect the alien mothership's operating system on its server(s).

Conclusion:
1. Alien mothership's wireless network runs 802.11g
2. Alien mothership runs on MS Windows.

Okay. I was kidding about the wireless network. If I remember right Jeff Goldblum used a cable to hook things up.

Then again, the alien fighter he was in would have to have sockets that accept RJ45 plugs....

Good gravy, somebody stop Bill Gates before it's too late!!!!

Crossroad

You must excuse me for the lack of postings and the utter ups and downs of my mood these days. I've reached another crossroad in my life and it's a while in sorting out.

The first real step came today when I went to the first job interview I've been to in six years. Someone's earned a dinner. It's not real work as in 9 to 5 but part time. Still it'll allow me to utilise the ol' noggin for proper use and it'll give me some focus.

My current job is so easy I could get a trained monkey to take my place. Well, it's easy for me anyway. I'm rather good at the careers equivalent of a jigsaw. And not to belittle it too much, that's why I specified a trained monkey rather than a plain ordinary everyday monkey.

Ook ook.

Focus is good for another step I want to take and that's going back to school. I've got my eye on a degree in Interior Design but at my age, I have to be really sure it's what I want to do. I went to KDU on Friday to make some enquiries and walked in amongst the college kiddies. Let me tell you, I really felt out of place. I was already in secondary school when some of these kids were just a glint in daddy's eye.

While some of these kids are straining (trying too hard) to break into adulthood, I've never lost my youthfulness. If anything, it'll be quite an interesting cultural experience for me.

Possibly coming to a college near you. Stay tuned.

Friday, April 27, 2007

Argh!

Argh. My eyes.

Argh. My brain.

I think the template you see now will do for the while.

First stage renovations complete!

Template Under Construction

www.brainspillage.com is having a new look with the new domain name.

A little patience? I have no experience with this. I should have everything up by tomorrow. Depending on how smashed I get tonight of course. I'll also have everybody's links up soon.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

www.brainspillage.com

Manchester United vs AC Milan. Full Time.

Final score 3-2 to Manchester United.

What a second half. Games like this one make it all worthwhile.

At 2-2 I thought that I could accept the score as the MU players had played their hearts out and given their all. I can accept even defeat when the players have tried their best but maybe run out of luck. It's the same when I'm playing. I don't mind losing when my team is at least trying. In the same vein, I don't like it when the guys in my team don't put in a lot of effort even when we're winning.

I won't single out any of United's players for special praise. I will however give praise to the entire team as a whole and credit to Sir Alex for the way the team performed.

3-2 isn't the best score to take to the San Siro in Milan. Away goals by the opposition are always a dangerous thing. I am a bit concerned about the injury list MU is having at this time but as long as I see desire and commitment in the players on the pitch, I have a measure of confidence that Manchester United can indeed make it to the final in Athens.

Manchester United vs AC Milan. Half time.

We've been Kaka'ed.

Goddammit.

A central defensive pairing of Ferdinand and Vidic could have stopped the first goal. It was a little clueless of the MU defence to let it happen. I saw it coming. There was a huge ass hole for Kaka to run into and the made the most of it.

Evra made a bit of a mess up by jumping and crashing into Heinze which certainly helped Kaka find the space which lead to the second. Can't deny the talent of Kaka though. What a player.

Ca-ca happens baby. Ca-ca happens.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Top 10 things I like on women

Well, here we go. In no particular order.

1. The tramp stamp.

No further elaboration necessary.



2. The belly ring.

Looks best on tanned women with flat bellies.



3. The tongue piercing.

Looks best when glimpses are made possible with an open-mouthed laugh.



4. Cleavage.

Boob cleavage or butt cleavage. Just bring it eh? I must confess to liking boob cleavage more though!



5. Low cuts on slim hips.

One of the better recent trends. I remember the first noticeable one. Britney Spears in the Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman video. She must have had to get out a Gillette to pull it off. Of course since we've learnt that her Gillette does get regular use.

As Levi's put it on their lowcut jeans webpage: "Well below the natural hips."



6. Short shorts.

The original woohoo! hot pants, cutoff jeans. Though I must confess to liking black skin-tight shorts more ala Mutya Buena in the Push The Button video. Catherine Bach as Daisy Duke first set loins aflame with the cutoff jeans. Recently the torch was passed on to Jessica Simpson.



7. Tan lines.

Tan lines are sexy. I like tanned women. They look healthier and sportier. Swim suit lines with a sexy top is a great favourite.



8. Confidence.

Confidence as in a woman who knows herself and likes herself. Does not need to impress or be impressed.



9. Vivaciousness.

Happy. Fun loving. Cheerful. Sexy.



10. Natural look. Less or no makeup.

A woman who's beautiful without makeup is a beautiful woman. Full stop.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Here We Go Again

The Dawson shootings last year sparked me to write the blog posting below in my old blog. I figured it was only a matter of time before I would post it here. The Virginia Tech Massacre is what happened. Yay! By now don't you think Americans would possibly agree that maybe it's a not such a great idea to have all them shootin' irons. You could probably buy 'em from Kmart!

September 14, 2006

It's Never Going to End

Well, it's happened again. Some looney/dumbass/spaced out clown has armed himself and shot up a school. Yesterday in downtown Montreal, some looney put on the uniform of a looney, a black trenchcoat. The death count stands at one for now. There are those that are seriously injured and may not survive their injuries.

First, there's the trenchcoat. What is with these loonies that they have to put one on before they carry out such lunacy? They way I see it, these dumb bastards put on a trenchcoat like I turn on my Playstation. Yeah! There's killin' to be done! What kind of reality do these people live in?

"Hey Goober! Let's go blast some fools like how we done in Grand Theft Auto!"

"Sure Buford! My cousin Sally done bought me a shotgun for christmas!"

Now, the two lines above itself is a stereotype and a misconception. There are three points to consider. Firstly, you don't have to be a redneck. That's your TV rednecks up there. The majority of these jackasses are young white boys from middle class families. Secondly, anyone brought up right by mum and dad can differentiate between reality and a video game. The third point I'm going to make is, that sadly, guns are that easy to come by if you happen to live in North America.

Robyn Anderson bought the Columbine High shooters their weapons in a straw purchase. The two 17 year olds were too young to buy guns. Robyn, then 18, bought them a rifle and two shotguns by showing the dealer her driver's license proving she was indeed over 18. Now get this, the two piss pots were with this dumb bunny in the gun shop and doing all the looking and asking of the questions. Doesn't take a fucking genius to figure out who the guns are for. Oh yeh, and there was the Tec-9 semi-auto handgun which was sold to one of the numbnuts by Mark Manes who was a friend of the looneys.

What I'm lamenting on is how easily firearms are obtained. Take another situation into account. Nathan Ferris was an overweight 12 year old boy subject to constant bullying in school. The last time he was humiliated in front of his classmates was really the last time. He pulled out a pistol, shot his tormentor and then turned the gun on himself. Shocked? 12 years old that one. Then take Dedrick Owens who took a semi-auto pistol from his uncle's house and brought it to school to show off. He pulled the gun from his pants, yelled "I don't like you Kayla!" and shot 6 year old Kayla Rolland in the neck. She died half an hour later. Dedrick Owens was also 6 years old.
Often enough a kid blasts away in a school as a result of humiliation and bullying. Like Nathan Ferris, Michael Carneal was frequently bullied and had his name published in the school paper claiming he had homosexual crush on another student. Which didn't exactly improve matters for him. He brought a handgun, two rifles and two shotguns to school and fired shots indiscriminately. He surrendered when he saw one of the fallen was a friend of his. He was 14. He is currently serving 3 life sentences and 120 years.

Which brings me back to christmas. Brenda Spencer was 17 when she opened fire at a school causing death and injury. The rifle she used was one of her christmas presents.
All these events just skim the surface. I have no idea what it's like living where there are metal detectors at schools. Not that it always helps. A security guard was killed manning the metal detector at a school when it went beep! for a very good reason.

You know what's brilliantly disgusting though? Jake Ryker, who was already wounded, tackled his shooter, a 16 year old, and held him up enough for more people to come hold down this adolescent looney. The gun crazy National Rifle Association cited as Jake Ryker as "an example of NRA training put to good use." That's not quite accurate. If Ryker had been indeed trained by the NRA, he'd have brought out his own gun and blasted back. Or joined in the fun and games.

Let me give you a quote: The National Rifle Association, or NRA, is a group for the promotion of marksmanship, firearm safety, and the protection of hunting and personal protection firearm rights in the United States, established in New York in 1871 as the American Rifle Association. It sponsors firearm safety training courses, as well as marksmanship events featuring shooting skills and sports. The NRA is sometimes said to be the single most powerful non-profit organization in the United States. It is the oldest and largest civil rights organization in the U.S., considering gun ownership a civil right protected by the Second Amendment of the Bill of Rights.

Also allow me to debunk that with one single fact. Actor Charlton Heston, a promoter of the NRA agenda was presented a presentation rifle at a NRA convention in 2000. He held the rilfe aloft over his head and declared loudly, using years of acting experience for maximum effect, "They'll have to pry it from my cold, dead hands!" Well done Charlton. In my opinion you're just another fucking looney but was lucky enough to have the luxury of carrying out your gun-toting fantasies in the movie business. Charlton probably went back to his trailer and masturbated after filming gun fights. And in that one sentence Chuckie pretty much described the NRA to the rest of the world.

Here are your gun looneys in the U.S.:
National Rilfe Association
Gun Owners of America
Jews for the Preservation of Gun Ownership
Pink Pistols
Second Amendment Foundation
Second Amendment Sisters
Citizens for the Right to Keep and Bear Arms
Liberty Belles
Law Enforcement Alliance of America

I have to give you a few interesting facts about the Pink Pistols. It's a gay gun group. Their mottos are "Armed gays don't get bashed" and "Pick on someone your own caliber." To be a member you can either be LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) or own a gun. You don't have to satisfy both conditions. I would like to elaborate on the Pink Pistols but I can't. You can only swim in so much shit. Whether the shit's packed or not, I don't know. I think the mottos say it all.

U.S. pro-gun control groups are:
American Hunters and Shooters Asoociation
Americans for Democratic Attention
Americans for Gun Safety Foundation
Brady Campaign
Brady Centre to Prevent Gun Violence
Coalition to Stop Gun Violence
League of Women Voters

Here's a few bits of info on the Brady Centre. Lead by James and Sarah Brady. James Brady was shot and permanently crippled by John Hinckley in 1981 during the attempt to assassinate Ronald Reagan during his presidency. In 2000, controversy surrounded wife Sarah over a straw purchase when she bought James Brady Jr. a rifle for Christmas. Yay! Christmas again! The rifle fires .30-06 bullets. You bring down moose and elk with those fuckers.

I think I'm going to stop here as it's never going to end.

Let me declare my own opinions over the matter. I'm don't give a rat's ass about pro-gun or gun control and all that shit. That's their fucking problem over there. Here in Malaysia, who cares? You can be in possession of a gun without bullets or bullets without a gun and get into a heap of trouble. You could have a replica gun and get in trouble. You don't have to worry a lot in this country about being shot. It's not likely to happen. It can. But not likely. What I am against though is stupidity. Which is what all this gun shit is anyway. A lot of stupidity with no solution in sight.

The current popular culture does nothing to help. Violence is glorified in media. True life events are dramaticised by the media. Using words like horrific, siege, drama, massacre, perpetrator, conspiracy, suspect, tragedy. You only encourage the stupid fuckers. They want to go out with a bang. Songs written about the events imortalise it and the dumb fucks at the same time. Their names and/or faces become part of popular culture. Metallica's "Ronnie" and Boomtown Rats "I Don't Like Mondays" are prime examples. I love Metallica but that was fucking misinformed. Thanks for saving lots of starving Africans Bob but that was still pretty damned idiotic. The next bunch of losers might commit murder so their favourite bands write songs about them. Time magazine traces their life history. Don't get it? Next time try a news report like this:

"Two dumb bastards with mental and social issues stole guns out of daddy's closet and brought said guns to school in a pathetic attempt to feel superior. No one gives a shit who they are because they're not worth remembering and we don't want to encourage other stupid looneys out there who might do this shit in our town next. They both shot themselves in the end which was the only smart thing they did in their sad sorry lives cos there were a lot of people waiting outside for any form of revenge. Dumbfuck #1 was a sad loner who nobody wanted to be friends with. Dumbfuck #2 liked the way Dumbfuck #1 smelt so tolerated him. Police tossed the looneys' bodies into the nearest crocodile infested lake. Their parents made no attempt to recover the carcasses."

As I was saying, our popular culture does no good. Violence is glorified. Wealth is glorified. Looks are glorified. Popularity is glorified. Athletic ability is glorified. Drugs are glorified. Promiscuousity is glorified. Gansterism is glorified. Materialism is glorified. Did I mention guns? Guns are glorified. Hey, it's the American way!

The world's overpopulated anyway. Let the fuckers in countries with gun issues kill each other. We can refer to it in the future as culling of human beings in predominantly stupid countries/continents. We will then forget the innocent, the victims, the maimed, the dead, the ruined lives and all the mental and physical pain ever suffered.

Monday, April 16, 2007

JPJ. Efficient.

I must say that I'm quite impressed. I got to the JPJ in PJ at 7:50 in the morning as they're supposed to open at 8:15am. There was already a queue at the numbers counter.

Here's the bit that impressed me.

They actually started work at 8:05. I was number 27 in the queue. I was done and out of there at 8:20am.

Wow.

Efficient? I hope so!

In the morning when I get up I will be off to the JPJ to get a replacement road tax sticker. I still want to club senseless the person(s) who were responsible for breaking into my car and tearing it off the windscreen. I'm still puzzled why they stole my air-freshener as well. Thieves who specialise in breaking into cars smell like Ambi-Pur. Remember that. Bastards use it for deodorant.

I dread going to such places. I dread 100 people waiting there to be served, 10 counters and only of them 6 open. That's what I remember about government service centres. My passport renewal was a nightmare. I took a book with me and was so thankful my cell phone plays mp3s. I had time for lunch and a leisurely teh tarik with a newspaper as well. But that was my own beef. I did my passport when the long holidays were looming. My recent experiences were with TM, TNB and the Jabatan Bekalan Air. I was pretty pleased with them. It wasn't a super long wait.

I have no idea what the JPJ will be like. I've been hearing horror stories and reading similar horror fests on other Malaysian blogs concerning the JPJ. They open at 8:15 in the morning. I'm going to plant my ass at their door before they open.

Stay tuned.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Lafu?

I've been seeing a new word being thrown around recently though up till now, only in print. I haven't actually heard it being used at yet if it is used verbally that is.

Lafu.

Lafu?

I gather it means 'like' or 'love' though the latter in the non-romantic context. At least that's what I think.

(Post edit - I just noticed that one of the blogs I read regularly used 'lafu' in post title. Not criticising Rabbit at all. Hope you won't be offended. This post is not a gripe on the word itself.)

Please don't misunderstand me and assume I'm criticising anyone (definitely not you, you read my blog? we're cool) but I have to confess to despise, or at least despise the idea of, Singlish and Manglish. To accept it's bad English is one thing. To give it identity and legitimacy is just plain wrong. It's like we're struggling for identity and choose to highlight a negative aspect of ourselves to gain character. My gripe is not against the use of our specialised Malaysian way of speaking English amongst friends. My gripe is giving it an identity and legitimacy.

I accept that my point of view is anchored to a great love of books. Speak in local slang and all it's fine but the written word is sacred. But that's just me. Up to the point that the text messages I write on my cell phone are grammatically correct, puncuated and words are spelled out in full. SMS-speak was bad enough but now we've already started to write poorly in messages, emails, IM and other cell phone or computer related media. It'll hit in a few years. Not now. Not in the near future but it'll hit us one way or another and it'll be in a bad way. My nightmare is that this sort of thing will leak into our literature, education, business world, and other formal scopes.

One day some politician is going to say, "You don't worry laa, I do for you wan. Vote me laa. You lafu me, I lafu you laa."

I will laugh my arse off then cry.

I would agree that using Manglish (especially now blogging is becoming increasingly popular) in written form is fine. In the sense that it adds character, gives it local flavour and such. But I worry that this is the best that we can speak and write. Writing poor English deliberately is one thing. Writing poor English when it's the best that the writer can do is another.

But chill.

It's not your fault.

It's not my fault.

It's the poor and absolutely ridiculous standard of English being taught in schools here.

However, whoever taught up the word Manglish should be shot. But only after prolonged torture. And it isn't even original. To gain identity, we copied the Singaporeans with their concept of Singlish.

It's sad.

Me no lafu Manglish. Seriously.

Don't mind me. I'm just an old man making some noise.

Friday, April 13, 2007

IMHO, Number 1

IMHO:

The one word football players cannot do without: 'Massive'

Don't believe me? Watch any EPL post match interview with a player from the winning side.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Secure Unsecure

I have a headache. I got hold of a wireless firewall and configuring the thing has been really easy and subsequently, headache inducing.

Connecting it was easy. Nice strong signal, fast data transfer and no fuss configuration. The bugger of a bastard thing though won't co-operate and be secured. Whatever it is, it won't let me use encryption. Using the WEP key, I'd get only a limited connection. I did remember specify the default key too. Don't think I've got a free access point for all and sundry to use though. I've configured the thing to only accept trusted computers and not to broadcast its SSID.

Fighting with computer hardware used to end in defeat for whatever I was fighting with. I'm just not the IT savvy tech grunt I once was.... sigh.

Nowadays, the new generation of hi-tech kids could configure the wireless firewall easily and without blood and tears. So tell me, what do you young 'uns think I did wrong or didn't do right?

Meow! Part 2

By now you must have realised I'm like the black sheep uncle in the family that all the other adults try to ignore and keep their children away from.

Anyway.



I'll be the first to admit that this new bedsheet set is not me at all.

But.

I bought it anyway.

Because.

At this point in time it looks like the only way I'm going to get pussies on my bed.

Sigh.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

7 - 1

What happens when one team hits top form and the opposition are almost laughingly bad?

Manchester United 7 - 1 AS Roma

I fully accept that the score would not have been so ridiculous had Roma played at least a decent game. Their defence was having an off day and the goalkeeper was worse. Who cares? It was fun.

Woohoo!

Comment: Domain Name

"Miracle has left a new comment on your post "My Domain Name":

I'm currently using Interunix.

www.interunix.net

I don't know if they offer what you're looking for, but you can check it out."

Thanks Erin.

See for yourself. Click here: interunix webhosting

Just an option for you guys out there who are thinking about taking your blogs a step further. Wish I knew about it.

I'm wondering what to do next with my newly acquired domain name. I was even thinking of transfering it over to to another company now. But that would mean paying twice for the same thing. If I pay eternalsolutions it will be a difference of 4 Ringgit in the end. It's a matter of principle. I had expected to pay just RM35 instead of over 50 bucks which I'm going to have to do now. I'll cough up the RM24. Next year, I will transfer the domain name to another company. I will also never recommend eternalsolutions to anyone and if asked, I will share my experiences and point people to their competitors.

You reap what you sow.

Well, enough bitchin' from me. I own a domain name. I'm happy about it.

www.brainspillage.com

Coming soon to a web browser near you!

Monday, April 09, 2007

My Domain Name

Here's a heads up if you're looking to register a domain name. eternalsolutions registers domain names but it stops there. There is no mention whatsoever about DNS management and DNS forwarding on their website. The first time you will see it is when you log into the control panel of your domain name and find it locked out.

Of course, I ring them up.

Me : There is no mention on your website that you would not provide the services. There is no mention of the services at all and no mention that there will be an additional charge for the services.

Her : Yes, but we didn't mention on the website that we will provide the services.

(can you BELIEVE she said that?)

Me : That's almost false advertising. There was no mention at all of it.

Her : ....

Me : Now I have a domain name and I can't do anything with it. Not without being able to manage the DNS or maybe even DNS forwarding. You claim to be the cheapest on your website. If I have to pay for the 'additional' services on top of the domain name you're actually more expensive.

Her : [Mouths off some other crap]

Me : [Thinking to myself, What a con job!!!!]

Her : So you will buy the additional services?

Me : I don't want to. I've been screwed by you people but I have to. I can't do anything without the 'additional' services.

Oh for fuck's sake. DON'T use eternalsolutions. You might as well buy a domain name from Emerge.

Emerge : Domain name + DNS forwarding + DNS Management = RM55

eternalsolutions : Domain name = RM35 + (DNS forwarding + DNS Management) = RM59

It's so obvious they're claiming to be the cheapest in town! based on this falsehood. A good example is Emerge. They list RM55 on their website. You play RM55. You get the domain name and the services you need to manage your domain name. eternalsolutions list RM35 on their website. You get the domain name and Sweet FA with it.

Cheapest in town! Ha fucking ha.

Sunday, April 08, 2007

One scratch

She scratched me.

Hurt.

Ribbons of blood run down my back.

This is ridiculous. The agony and the ecstasy? I rage. I hold her down. Dominate her. My fury is vented with the baseness of the act and primeval instincts.

She tries to bite. I pull her head back by the hair. Her eyes betray excitement.

Rivulets of sweat run across the rawness of my wounds. Intense. I blaze. More force makes its way into my movements.

The act always ends only with the male. My skin is torn, my fury remains unabated but my inner male core is satisfied. It wants to roar.

Click on the play button to hear the roar!





I'm sorry. I'm in a weird mood today.

When even the best make mistakes



Just this once I will call you a clown. Permit me that.

Friday, April 06, 2007

An iPod Game

Saw this in another blog. All it is, is bragging that I have an iPod.

Rules:
1. Put your iPod/music player in shuffle mode.
2. Answer the questions below through the song being played.
3. Click the forward button as you move along the questions.

How are you feeling today?
Garbage - Fix Me Now
* Yeh. Have not slept all night and I'm playing golf in a couple of hours.

Will you get far in life?

The Doors - Light My Fire
* Just need a spark I suppose!

How do your friends see you?

Nik Kershaw - The Riddle
* Hahaha!

Will you get married?

Linkin Park - One Step Closer
* Really?

What is your best friend's theme song?

The Shadows - Kon Tiki
* Ummm....?

What is the story of your life?
Low Millions - Eleanor
* Who?

What was high school like?
Anastacia - Left Outside Alone
* I feel dysfunctional all of a sudden

How can you get ahead in life?

Skid Row - In A Darkened Room
* Photographer? Spelunker? Projectionist? Male prostitute?

What is the best thing about your friends?

Shawn Colvin - When You Know
* When I know they're really friends I guess

What is today going to be like?
Edie Brickell - Good Times
* Oh yeah!!!!

What is in store for this weekend?

Nightwish - White Night Fantasy
* Have to figure out what a white night fantasy is. Sounds kinky though.

What song describes you?

Heart - These Dreams
* Ah.... All the shattered and unrealised dreams.

To describe your grandparents?

Nickelback - How You Remind Me
* Very apt!

How is your life going?
Soundgarden - Pretty Noose
* Nooooo. Surely not that bad!

What song will they play at your funeral?

Evanescence - Bring Me To Life
* Hahahahah!!! Now this is funny!

How does the world see you?

Eva Cassidy - True Colours
* Awww....

Will you have a happy life?
Marion Raven - Heads Will Roll
* Uh.....

What do your friends really think of you?
Steve Winwood - Back In The High Life Again
* Well. There is a lot of truth in this

Do people secretly lust after you?

Regurgitator - I Like Your Old Stuff Better Than Your New Stuff
* ????

How can I make myself happy?

The Beatles - Let It Be
* Ah. Simple solutions!

What should you do with your life?
Caesars Palace - Jerk It Out
* Jerk IT out? Jerk what out? How?

Will you ever have children?
Emiko Shiratori - Melodies of Life
* Hmmmm.....!

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Showers and errr.... ghosts and aliens?

Kind of a tag by Janice. I'm a bit stumped by how it swings from a simple thing like a shower to the unknown and extra-terrestrial life.

Here goes.

ABOUT YOUR SHOWERS:

Do you shower in the morning or evening?
Evening. Some mornings as well. I don't suffer from B.O. though. My natural smell is more like an aphrodisiac. I'm a scientific phenomenon.

Do you use liquid or bar soap?
Liquid.

Do you use shampoo and conditioner or just shampoo?
Just Shampoo. With conditioner every other week.

Do you brush your teeth in the shower?
Sometimes

Do you shave in the shower?
No. My Braun won't take kindly to it.

Do you sing in the shower?
Nope.

Do you use a washcloth?
Just a brush for scrubbing my back.

Do you have a door or a curtain on your shower?
Door.

Have you every taken a call in the shower?
No. My cell phone won't take kindly to it.

Have you ever showered in your swimsuit?
Yeh. On an island in the middle of nowhere.

Have you ever showered with a member of the same sex?
In a group, yes. It was supposed to save water.

Have you ever showered with a member of the opposite sex?
Yes. Details not available.

Do you share a bathroom with someone?
No. Mine!

Do you listen to the radio in the shower?
No.

Do you wear a shower cap?
No.

Do you wash behind your ears?
All the time.

Describe your shower in three words
Warm, clean, wet.

What one thing would you change about your shower?
I like my shower.

What would make your shower time better for you?
A naked attractive woman.

What celebrity would you like to shower with?
No one comes to mind strangely.

What celebrity would you NOT like to shower with?
Elton John. Good thing I use liquid soap but still....

What is the one thing you can't do without in your shower?
Soap?

What is the oddest thing that has happened to you in the shower?
Washing my face and while my eyes were closed there was a tug....

What is the best thing that has happened to you in the shower?
Woohoo! happened.

When was the last time you showered?
This afternoon.

When are you going to take a shower next?
After I'm done with this.

ABOUT YOUR BELIEF IN THE 3RD DIMENSION:

Do you believe in ghosts?

No.

Have you ever seen a ghost?
No.

Would you be scared if you saw a ghost?
I'd shit myself.

Who would you least like to see come back as a ghost?
I have no idea.

Who would you most like to see come back as a ghost?
No one coming to mind.

Do you think psychics are real?
Bollocks.

Which dead person would you like to talk to most?
My grandfather.

Have you ever had your fortune told?
No.

Would you ever visit a palm reader?
No. I'd be really upset if it proved to be accurate. It's not supposed to be real.

Do you read your horoscope?
No.

Has your horoscope ever come true?
Horoscopes are so general they could happen to anyone, anytime.

Do you have a good luck charm?
It used to be a fuzzy blue bear but I gave him to a former girlfriend when we were in a relationship.

Do you think we have powers in our brains we haven't unlocked yet?
No.

Which brain power would you most like to have unlocked?
Common sense.

Do you think there are aliens out there?
Yes of course. Billions upon billions of solar systems out there. At least one of them should meet the right conditions for life.

Have you ever been abducted by aliens?
No. They'd regret it if they tried. I'd try to shag a female alien.

Which famous person do you think is most likely to be an alien?
Elvis Presley. Tommy Lee Jones was right. He went home.

Do you think crop circles are real?
No.

Do you think aliens will be peaceful for will they attack us?
They'd kill us all and take our planet cos they need a new one and that's cos they fucked up their own home planet so bad. Kinda like what we're doing ourselves now.

What color are aliens most likely to be?
They'd be just like us. A planet has to have so many things right about it just to support life. Another planet which supports life is probably just like ours. Right size, right distance from sun, right type of sun, right rotation speed, right moon, right gravity, right content, liquid center, blah blah blah. There's no reason to think they'd not be just like us. Carbon based, oxygen dependent, bipedal, opposing digits, blah blah blah.

Since I got kind of tagged. I'm not tagging anyone. Don't matter. Although I don't mind being tagged, I don't tag anyone anyway. At least, I haven't yet!

Death in the Family

I wrote the piece below last year. I didn't publish it and it's been in my drafts folder since November last year. I have not publish it for obvious reasons and also it was for my own inner peace. Maybe it's time.

Back then when I wrote this piece, I was probably still in mourning over the sudden losses. I did not have have to deal with death in my childhood. When I was very young my great grandfather and grandaunt died. Then I did not lose anyone till I turned 21. Now, it is a tribute to them. To each and everyone who was part of my life and was taken away.

Over the years I've lost people dear to me. I've been fortunate that I've had many of the elder generation leave this world only when I was much older than a child. I lost a grandparent first when I was in my 20s. Now, all I have left is my maternal grandmother. How fragile life is.

I can never forget my 21st birthday. That was the day I was told my friend, school classmate and roommate, Adrian Cheong had gone missing in the Hawaiian sea. Adrian was my classmate in school and in college. He was also my roommate while we attended the latter in Subang Jaya. Now, 11 years later, no one still knows what happened to him and he was never found dead or alive. I have good memories of Adrian. We passed through adolescence and into adulthood together. I remember staying over in his sister, Bernice's apartment, sleeping in the living room. In the middle of the night and in darkness catching a glimpse of Cynthia, his girlfriend (and Bernice's roommate) sailing by in her diaphanous night dress on her way to what I hope was a right good shag. If she was good for anything, at least Cynthia ensured he didn't go a virgin. It would not be a surprise if one day he is found to be on some remote island lording over it and its natives - complete with topless and grass skirted harem. Such was his personality.

My paternal grandmother died on holiday in Italy. She had ostreoperosis and this lead to tragic consequences when she slipped and hit her head on some stairs. One of my earliest memories is of me telling her at a car showroom in Ipoh that maybe the cars (Jaguars and Mercedes) were a little too expensive for my grandfather. How innocent those days were. I had no idea my granddad could have bought anything in that showroom. My paternal grandparents and great grandparents are some of the original landowners (estates, mines and mills) and towkays in Taiping, Perak. Don't bother kidnapping me though. The money didn't make its way to me. My great grandfather was the Charcoal King of Taiping and a founding director of Maybank. I remember him as a tall, dignified man. He stood at six feet. Not bad for a man born in the 1800s. It was colonial times back then and with that in mind, back to my grandmother. I remember my grandma barking orders at the hired help. Especially this little man named Ramasamy. I suppose I feel sorry for him. He got barked at all the time. Well, blame the English and colonial rule. My grandmother should have been a doctor which is no mean feat for a woman in the 1930s. The war cut her education short and ended her medical career before it could begin. She liked culture and art. She loved us but was from an era where it could not be shown. We understood.

My maternal grandfather died shortly after. He was a rascal. A mischievious man with a sense of humour. He also had three (four? I dunno) wives. A fact we children did not discover until much later and didn't take very kindly to. My grandmother was the first wife. Apparently he was a difficult man to live with. I remember the day he alienated his grandchildren from him. He appeared drunk at my parents house yelling at my mother for telling him my sister and I couldn't see him that day. My sister and I had been so sheltered that we couldn't comprehend such behaviour and for many years we shunned him. Perhaps he regretted this the most of all. He loved all his grandchildren intensely and it must have hurt him tremendously. Reap what you sow I believe. My sister's fury lasted much longer than mine. When I was 16 I began cycling to school. I would go past his neighbourhood at about 6:30am when he'd be on his walk. For weeks I must have been just another kid cycling to school in the morning. One day, for no apparent reason, I greeted him and he nearly died of a heart attack on the spot. From then on I would have breakfast with him every other weekend or so. It was the first real contact we'd had in nearly ten years. By then my sister had left Ipoh to atttend college. When she came back during the holidays, she then decided to join us as well. Perhaps this brought a measure of peace to the old man. He died a few years later, a rascal to the end. No one could take care of him so he was put in a nursing home. When he got bored he'd throw his half eaten char siu pau at the guy in the bed beside his. Just to get a reaction out of him. Which was a lot of funny noises as the guy couldn't speak anymore. If you think that's bad, when he didn't have a pau he'd use the contents of his bed pan! Throughout his life, my grandfather loved football. I am the one grandson who shares his passion. My mother and all her siblings are university graduates. I visited him for the last time before I left to study in Australia. He died while I was in Australia. I never saw him again.

My paternal grandfather was a great man. Uneducated but learned, shrewd, intelligent and knowledgeable. Landowner, car distributor, hardware shop owner, stockbroker and I don't know what else. One of the most touching sights I've seen was at this funeral. When his old business partner who was wheelchair bound wanted to kneel in front of his coffin. He was clearly distraught and upset and my father and uncles had to insist that he didn't have to. They told him that him being there was enough and although there is respect, they were friends. They told him my granddad was his friend and would understand. I wish I had more time with my grandfather. I have so many things I want to ask him and talk to him about. He was a mine of information and as I am interested in my family history and Malaysia's history, it would have been good to talk to him. It's too late and it would have been difficult anyway for the suffered a stroke in his last years and it robbed him of clear speech. He was a strict and stern father but a marvelous grandfather (aren't they all?). I miss him. When he passed I was in KL. Busy with a business venture. I had thought of going back to see him but then I thought I'd wait till Chinese New Year. My grandfather passed away a couple of months before Chinese New Year.

My childhood friend's mother was a lawyer. I grew up in her presence. She always teased me about girlfriends until the day I finally introduced her to my first girlfriend. She was like family. She took her own life after giving in to a long battle with depression. I'm still stunned.

Life is but a spark. Fragile. Singular. One light is all one gets.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

huisen.com

Someone has been holding on to huisen.com since 2002 for no bloody reason except that it's for sale or lease. It is renewed every year since by someone.... for no other reason than the domain name is for sale or for lease.

Someone = Whoever you are.

You rim jobber.

Wired for Sound

I've been having fun recently. Feel free to argue the 'best' sequence for stompbox types. This is mine.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

DIY

How to open a wine bottle without a corkscrew.


Monday, April 02, 2007

Shallow. Irrelevant. Nonsensical.

It only just hit me. While I have been posting regularly, I haven't actually posted anything of proper value recently. Sure, it's fun, it's funny but it doesn't kickstart any grey matter in you, the reader.

It could be where my life is right about now. I have not much responsibility and basically nothing is happening in my life now. Really. Nothing. I have nothing really worthwhile to say and nothing particularly intelligent. While I have not much money, not many people I know have a huge safety-net-slash-back-up-plan. I do. I don't have much money but I don't think I will ever really be wanting of the stuff. I have significant non-liquid assets and zero debt. I've been spoilt rotten and done the classic Malaysian thing. Become complacent. Because I have such a big net I've taken it for granted instead of taking advantage and working off it.

How did it get like that?

I tried the taking advantage and working off it thing twice. The first time was when I quit my steady and safe job. Basically it was steady and safe but it paid peanuts and demanded blood in return. Personally I thought it was thankless and a dead end. There was no reward for resourcefulness, responsibility, leadership, improvisation and dedication which I will boldly declare I had (past tense because I have no idea now) in spades. The new job didn't work out. Basically we were small potatoes who got fucked over by the big boys. Everytime you see an LCD or a plasma TV doing ads in public places like the train stations and malls, remember that it wasn't exactly an original idea.

The second time, I took a business gamble and threw myself into it. I worked myself in to the ground. Despite that, I lost big time and lost it all. Including my self esteem, self respect and temporarily, my sanity. I had the biggest breakdown of my life then. I suppose the money wasn't really the most important thing. I was tired, unhappy, in despair and totally defeated. I did have a really lovely girlfriend (yeah Kev, her) who loved me anyway. What did I do? Pushed her away is what. Self esteem was at an all time low. Picking up the pieces was very very hard. I did have help. Nicolle asked me to get up. Barbsie picked me up and walked with me the rest of the way. Lydia and Luke carried me when I was tired. My family provided the sunshine to walk in.

Go to the crazee.ca.usa shop on the first floor in KL Plaza. Have a look. I died there.

Since then I have impressed but failed to take the opportunities. All for the sake of misplaced loyalty. So here I am now. Still aimless without much options.

How did it get like that?

I have to take quite a lot of responsibility for that myself actually. I had seriously thought of taking a job with a posh coffee, cake, chocolates (I forget the proper term) eatery in the new Petronas Hospital. A friend's (I cannot name her and you'll see why soon) new company is setting it up and will run it. What have I got to show? Not much actually. While I have no doubt I will be highly recommended and I have a great deal of belief in my abilities, I have absolutely nothing concrete to show on my CV. The company employed amongst its staff what is basically a useless twat who surfs gay porn in the office all while being a useless cunt. He has a Masters degree though. My buddy's relief was evident when he decided to quit recently. You know what? He'd gotten a better offer elsewhere. Tsk.

What can a person do, when one is ashamed of oneself? I still dream (nightmares, more accurately) occasionally of failing subjects in university, missing assignment dates, disappointed parents and family and the like. I hate those dreams. They hurt. Bad. My friends during uni days were clubbing, partying excessively, drinking heavily and taking drugs. I didn't. I was mostly at home but in the end, they still did better in uni than I did. Sad isn't it?

I know many of my readers are young and many of you are still students as well. Studying isn't difficult. A Masters for yourself isn't that hard. Mastering yourself is.

Your life starts now. Fucking do it right, okay?

This and That

F1 is coming to town! While staying on topic and flying off tangent all at the same time, here are a few pictures.

It's meant to show you Kimi Raikonnen's frickin' cool motorcycle. But what is obvious to me from the photos, is the the man also owns a Ferrari Enzo.

Prick.







Sunday, April 01, 2007

5 things you may not know about me

Tag by rabbit! Out of hospital and she's got out her tagging gun. Ever see a rabbit armed and dangerous?

#1. Although I have currently only three piercings on my body, I have actually been pierced a total of 6 times. I can confirm so you don't need to ask. Being pierced hurts like hell. I'd rather be tattooed. Why do it? Cos it's worth the pain. My lip ring has become my signature so much so that I worry that I will lose my identity if I remove it. So much for "if you can't be somebody without it, you're nobody with it".


#2. You can tell when I'm stressed and anxious about something personal. I don't like to sleep during such times. As a result I will struggle to stay awake and fall asleep somewhere anywhere with the lights on for days on end. One day a indication to stress does not make!

#3. It's funny but I can draw from Rabbit for one fact. I was in my school's military band. I actually led the band the year before I left school when I was elected the band's Drum Major. My primary instrument was the trumpet but I could play every other instrument as well except for the fife. I didn't want to play that flute looking thing. Too poofy. Yes, rabbit. I can play the trombone too.

#4. I am the opposite now of what I was when I was growing up. Shy, inward, frightened, non-confrontational, quiet aren't words people would use to describe me now. It's not always a good thing. I compensate for years of being pushed around by being overly aggressive at times now. I'm too belligerent for my own good sometimes.

#5. I'm good in a lot of things but never very good in one thing. Hence the nomadic, aimless existence. Actually I am very good in one thing but it's not the sort of thing careers are built on.

There ya go!