Lazy Bugger

Yep. I admit I'm a lazy bugger. I actually started off writing a posting about what the effects and consequences would be if the Axis countries (Germany, Japan and Italy) had triumphed over the Allied Forces in World War II? The world as we know it would be very very different than it is now.

I ended up writing the posting about Paris Hilton (below this one) instead.

Anyway, about the Axis winning.... The world would be split into two. The Japanese side and the German side. They might have had the same enemies during the war but they had very different ideals. There would definately be no Israel. There would be breeding programs on one side to produce blond haired blue eyed people for the Mighty Aryan race. The other side would have a age of consent of about 10 years old.

Well, you get the drift. Over here in Malaysia we'd be speaking Japanese and bowing to the Japanese flag. Occasionally we'll have a friend/relative/acquaintance beheaded or raped. It'd be life as usual. And Chin Peng would be a hero not a villain.

Italy? Italy would be relocated to Antartica. Everyone knows that they threw their lot in with the Axis because they wanted to be on the winning side. They wouldn't have an ounce of respect from either Germany or Japan.

Also imagine that after the surrender of both Germany and Japan, the Allied Forces then turned on Russia. Perhaps then instead of the cold war of years past, I could then be driving a Honda and have a Sony mobile phone like it has turned out to be with the military sanctions on Japan. The difference might be I'd have a Zhivinski laptop and a Viktor 2 game console. Perhaps my neighbour would be driving the latest and very desirable Stravoski SR21 sports car. There wouldn't have been any goddam cold war but you can bet your ass that some things wouldn't be right with the world either.

It's taken an infinite amount of time, coincidences and occurrences that YOU even exist. Think about this planet, evolution and your ancestors. And you live in this world is as it is today. Think about history. In fact, just think once in a while.

Oh yeh. I was saying I was a lazy bugger. Which is why I wrote about Paris Hilton (a no brainer post) instead of what the world would be like if the Axis countries won World War II.

Hurricane Paris

The whirlwind that is Paris Hilton just keeps gaining momentum. Even I must admit that her second single of her album is very easy on the ears and quite catchy. Ever since her little home video made its big appearance to the general public she's suddenly the new golden girl. The horror of it. She's promiscuous (allegedly), extravagant (apparently) and not the sharpest tool in the shed (believably). Not exactly the best role model for kids and teens.

Imagine your daughter saying she wants to be just like Paris Hilton. If you hadn't keeled over with a heart attack, smack her around the head a bit and lock her in her room. The last thing anyone wants is a promiscuous, extravagant and low IQ girl for a daughter. You don't worry about sons. Your sons will just want to fuck her and spend her money (unless they're gay then we're talking about Ricky Martin). That's fine. Unless you want him to be perceived like Kevin Federline is. How Britney must be regretting the wild backstage parties after a show. Going slightly off topic, one day she'll get to dig up old photos and show the kids exactly where the came from (if you don't already know about her gone-commando-upskirt-shaven-punani pictures, where have you been?).

Anyway, back to Paris. She's done some movies, some modelling, her TV show and her music career is already a resounding success. We're buying in to the phenomenon that is Paris Hilton. And Paris wannabes? Get real. To be Paris Hilton you have to first (other than being female) be born not just with a silver spoon but the entire bloody cutlery set as well. Strike one. You have to be as attractive as she is. Strike two. And you have to have her clever manager, marketing people and publicists. Strike Three. No one is going to be like Paris Hilton. The closest most girls get to Paris is by being promiscuous, extravagant and silly.

The big question is, is Paris really as dumb, stupid, silly as she makes out to be? All in all, in this day and age, she could be quite the astute and intelligent business woman. In this day and age (rampant sex, materialism, bling) she could be marketing herself perfectly for what the general public want. Also, after seeing the 'official' One Night in Paris video, whether you like her or not, you have to admit that she's the victim and the guy in the video is nothing but an opportunistic scumbag. Whatever it is, it launched Parisdom. These days, it's what people want. Remember Britney Spears insisting that she was a virgin? Why is she going public that it wasn't true now? After she and Justin Timberlake split up she was insisting she was still a virgin. How times change. Once desirable women were virgins. These days with the general message being that sex and casual sex is okay, Paris Hilton (definately not a virgin) is IT. And yeah, Justin did bang Britney. Straight from the horse's mouth. Was he paid off to shut his mouth? Was he insulted? Did he understand it was just business? Did he think it was good for her image but not for his? Fuck it. Old news. Who cares?

These days we buy images. People who buy Paris Hilton's CD aren't buying it for the music. They just want to own a piece of her.

Farewell Finally

Something I have been absolutely been able to take for granted is finally over. Since 1996 I have had my current driver's license. I had it renewed for 10 years then. 10 years of not needing to think about it. Just get in the car and drive. It expires today. Ah, it's the end of an era!

Merry Christmas

Hey! Merry Christmas one and all!

Halfway There

You may or may not know I'm moving soon. My new house is being renovated. It's more fun but more stressful this time round since I do know what I'm doing and what's happening this time unlike my current house. These are various pictures of my new house as it is now.


View from the dining area


Kitchen


Garden Shed

Town Boy

Some time back I mentioned that people from Ipoh are very clannish and take pride in where they come from. I had a little think about it and it's a little strange considering that I've only lived properly in Ipoh for the first 17 years of my life. That's still more than half my life but from 18 onwards I have been living away from Ipoh but consider going back as going home. I haven't figured it out yet.


Some of my footy tees


And this is the front of my car

Is it just me? I have no real reason to be patriotic on a state level never mind at a national level. It just is. Ipoh mali y'know?

Keyword Analysis

I looked at my statcounter statistics for this blog. Specifically the keyword analysis. I'm amused and exasperated all at the same time.

Here's why:

	- 8	- 25.81%	tramp stamp
	- 2	- 6.45%	fergie humps
	- 2	- 6.45%	marit sex video
	- 2	- 6.45%	nipples blogspot
	- 1	- 3.23%	angry songs about machismo
	- 1	- 3.23%	attractive nipples
	- 1	- 3.23%	fergie nipples
	- 1	- 3.23%	spillage of brains
	- 1	- 3.23%	masturbate- i'm lovin it- t-shirt
	- 1	- 3.23%	awesomezara
	- 1	- 3.23%	mcdonalds slogan im loving it started where?
	- 1	- 3.23%	so we're alone again
	- 1	- 3.23%	one whinged angal lyrics
	- 1	- 3.23%	music bands that wear makeup
	- 1	- 3.23%	lyrics you outa know alanis morrisette
	- 1	- 3.23%	so we're alone again. i wish it were over
	- 1	- 3.23%	poison 80's song
	- 1	- 3.23%	rear window screens
	- 1	- 3.23%	was tata young a man
	- 1	- 3.23%	memorable lyrics

Was Tata Young a man??? At least it all makes sense one way or another. Except for one. What the fuck is "one whinged angal lyrics"?

Confound It!

I'm the best of friends with a girl. She's tall, attractive and intelligent. We have a very strange relationship. We call each other dah-ling, sweetie and all that mushy mushy stuff. We also think the world of each other. We know each other's deepest secrets and we can tell each other anything including things we can't or won't tell anyone else. Yet we've never been an item, a pair or anything remotely close. Apparently it's because she's afraid we could not have the friendship we have if we took a step in that direction. Oh, and it's the same reason why we've not been to bed together before. Anyway, there's too much baggage on this girl for me. It's not her fault. It's circumstantial. We have this pact we made when we were about 27. If we were still single at 35 we might as well marry each other. You'd think two people that age would have a bit more sense and that brings me to the topic of this post.

I've met a number of really intelligent people who have sometimes done the stupidest things. Take the girl mentioned in the paragraph above. She always and I mean always chooses the absolute wrong man for a boyfriend. They're all fucking mental. You don't know possessive till you've encountered her boyfriends. She seems to like damaged goods and once actually told me she picks these crack pots to try to better them.

What?

What???

The last two are nutters though the most recent one takes the prize for being a complete nutter. Needless to say he wasn't very happy about me. Fair enough. None of my girlfriends particularly like her either. Anyway she did the splitsville on him and he went fucking mental on her. Stalking had a new disciple.

Anyway, all that bits not the point I'm trying to get across. Remember the bit about smart people doing dumb things? Here's the bit that left me aghast and speechless.

She and psycho had sex during their relationship.

That's fine. I've never had a girlfriend I didn't have happy fun time with. I don't expect these things not to happen. No one has a celibate relationship. Except for Sam (him of the cock cheese posting). Fair go.

The guy has quite a questionable sexual history and here's the bit that had me reeling. She was shown his medical test results. I thought it was a HIV test. It wasn't. It was one of those that show blood cell count, cholesterol, liver function and crap like that. It was all normal. She figured that a person who had something like say, HIV, would have abnormal medical test results.

Oh really?

Can anyone shed some light on this because I think that test proved fuck all.

The Party's Up North!

Well, he's gone and done it again. Datuk Nik Abdul Nik Mat, the Menteri Besar of Kelantan has come up with another blinder of a good concept. Yeh, that's him of the blaming women for being provocative and thereby asking to be sexually assaulted and raped. He's now decided to squeeze a little harder by declaring that in clubs, there is to be no alcohol, segregation of men and women and no exposure of the aurat (bits that have to be covered under Muslim law). He went of further to state that he doesn't oppose dancing in clubs but it must be between members of the same sex. Cue the Village People!

Believe it or not I used to work for the Mydin Retail company. That's a whole story in itself but I see no reason to bash my former employers online. Truth is, I cut my teeth with them and I have more to be grateful for than the gnashing of (the same) teeth. I was sent to Kota Bharu a number of times with the longest stay a good three weeks. So I do know a little about the place.

I did go to a couple of clubs while I was there. Boozing till 3am and getting to work at 9am is something everyone does once in a while still in the 20s. One place I distinctly remember is because aside from serving alcohol, the hostesses were Malay girls and they definately showed me their bits of aurat. Me being tipsy and away from my then girlfriend for an extended period handed out some lucky girl with a boob rub. What is more interesting is that the place is also given patronage by the local police officers. No doubt also obliging some lucky girl with a boob massage, gratis, of course. I remember the sergeant downing his beer in one cos the captain challenged him to. Of course they weren't in uniform. A guy I was with knew them so we were a merry bunch especially since we knew the place would definately not get raided.

I'll side track for a moment and tell you of a story I have from my visit to KK in 2004. My friends and I went to a touchy-feely bar in some dingy dodgy area. There are two things to be noted about that visit. One is the beer goggles and the other is the finger. There was this girl that got plonked on my lap and all I did was talk to her. The others were wondering why I wasn't at least flirting with her. That's when I realised they had their beer goggles on. Putting it directly, you could have ridden the waves in and my thighs were beginning to ache. After we left the place, Neil stuck his hand under Jay's nose and said, 'Smell my finger!' Well, apparently I was the only one practising quality control.

Anyway, back to Kota Bharu. This should really sum the place up. The movie theatre. The lights aren't switched off during the show. If there're any really really bored people, it's the youth of Kelantan. Which is why they get on their bikes and race around the town while waiting to buka puasa (I was there during the fasting month as well). Is there a saving grace? Why yes, it's called Golok, in Thailand. Half an hour away from Kota Bharu. Everyone in Kota Bharu knows about Golok. Drink, drugs, sex, sex and sex. You can also actually dance with someone from the opposite sex over there. Even if someone who went over just to escape the yoke of the system would suddenly find so much temptation around. It might be just too hard to resist.

There were a lot of Mydin staff in KL that were originally from Kota Bharu. They come in two types. The good religious ones who lead quiet existences and the others that go fucking bananas and cry freedom. They drink and fuck like the bombs are gonna hit tomorrow.

While I was in Kota Bharu with my colleague, we were taken close to the border for a beer by three of Mydin KB's staff. They were young Malay boys just hoping for a good time. In the middle of nowhere amongst the sawah padi we ended up in some hut (all on its own) having a beer (thrills for them) with Thai women. Conversation was limited to what little Hokkien I had. The others hadn't a hope of being understood beyond sign language. Anyway, after a little while, the Thai woman talking to me said I could have her for 30 Ringgit. Well! Firstly, Homey don't play that and secondly, she was (and I have no qualms saying it) fucking ugly. We split after that but when I told the boys what that bit of conversation was about, they were like, wow. Any one of them would have done her. Apparently quality control is becoming something quite exclusive to me.

It ain't all bad I should say. I love the Thai villages outside of KB. Five of us ate a huge meal with a good number of dishes and had beer and stout. It came to less than a hundred Ringgit. Bloody brilliant.

Anyway, what these fundamentalists need is a good dose of reality. Everyone knows why Adam bit the apple. It's the forbidden things that call out to us the loudest. Being religious is not a bad thing. Holding your own peoples' heads below water and telling them it's for their own good, is.

Till The Bombs Drop

Fly FM ran a phone in thingy a little while back where you ring them up and tell them what you'd do if there were no tomorrow. I heard a whole heap of mushy mushy stuff. It's all good and quite nice. Walks on the beaches, tell mum you love her, hold your loved one till the next day. Nice. Floaty. Mushy.

It brought me back to a discussion with friends I had 14 years ago at the mamak. I suddenly remembered it during one of the Fly FM mushes. The question at the time was what to do if THE BOMBS were about to drop. Must realise that in that day and age, the cold war was still going on and the Americans and the Russians had bombs that made 'Fat Boy' and 'Little Man', the bombs which ended WWII, look like firecrackers.

I heard a number of noble and nice things before without much thought, I said that if nuclear war was about to break loose, I'd fuck till THE BOMBS hit. What's there to do? Pretty much nothing. Don't have to worry about pregnancy, HIV or any other STD for that matter, nor angry fathers, brothers, boyfriends. There wouldn't be much left once the fucking Americans and Russians fuck up the world and everyone in it who wasn't even interested in their politics.

It'll be on the radio and TV. For you little generation x-ers, there was no established internet, widespread satelite TV or cell phones. What cell phones there were looked like a brick and was as heavy as one but cost the whole house. So, back to it, once the word got out, I'd put on my shoes, grab the first girl that took my fancy (with the famous words, "Yeh, you'll do!!") and once I've explained the situation to her I don't think it'd be much of a problem.

There was much nodding of heads and muttered approval. "Yeah, till the bombs drop". "Fuck till the bombs hit". It was a deep philosophical discussion that. Well, of course, back then I was still in virgin territory. *Ahem*. There was no fucking way I was going to die a virgin. I was gonna fuck till the bombs drop. Count on it.

Propensity for Monogamy

I was just looking around random blogs the same way I use wikipedia. Which is basically look into a blog I like and start a chain of links by always using a link on the page I'm on to get to the next one. It's a very good way to discover good new stuff. I didn't find anything really brilliant today but I found this test below.

Your Five Variable Love Profile

Propensity for Monogamy: Your propensity for monogamy is high. You find it easy to be devoted and loyal to one person. And in return, you expect the same from who you love. Any sign of straying, and you'll end things. Experience Level: Your experience level is high. You've loved, lost, and loved again. You have had a wide range of love experiences. And when the real thing comes along, you know it! Dominance: Your dominance is medium. You tend to be the one with more power. You aren't a total control freak in relationships.. But of course you don't mind getting your way! Cynicism: Your cynicism is medium. You'd like to believe in true and everlasting love... But you've definitely been burned enough to know better. You're still an optimist, but you also are a realist. Independence: Your independence is medium. In relationships, you need both "me time" and "we time." You usually find it easy to be part of a couple. But occasionally you start to feel a little smothered.

The Five Variable Love Test


Well, don't be fooled by this. It looks good for sure but the questions are really simplistic. For example, if it says, "You like cats." You can be sure one of the questions is going to be, "Do you like cats?" Since it's been a while since Janice did a set of dumb questions on the internet, this could help her get by till the next one. Click on the link luv.

Why yes, I do read

I received a message on friendster sometime back:

> Hi ya
> Read your profile. Kind of intriguing... since I rarely meet guys who read much.

What sort of age have we arrived at if male book readers are rare and at a premium? Note surreptitious wink here.

I did answer and I thought I'd post my answer here:

Hullo,Nice of you to write me. Your prolfile says you're 86 years old. You look remarkably good for one at that age. What's your secret?

I'm teasing. Why your age is significant to answering your message will be apparent as we go along.

I'm already 32 and at an age where there are huge gaps and differences with those younger than myself.I grew up when there were only 2 channels on TV never mind dedicated viewing channels. I didn't watch much TV as a result. Also in my teens I was restricted to a one hour show a week limitation by my parents. It did ensure I wasn't glued to the TV the whole day. I was usually looking for something to do.

There was no Astro. There were no playstations nor x-boxes. No cell phones. The emphasis on entertainment and amusement for children back then was more pure, more physical and more interactive on a personal level. I hung out with the neighbourhood kids and played football, rode bicycles and played many other games, a lot of it improvised.I did grow up surrounded by books. I really mean a lot of books. More than a hundred Enid Blyton books, the entire Peter and Jane series and other assorted books. My parents' books, which I was to progress to, numbered in the hundreds. Authors like Gerald Durrell, James Herriot, Roald Dahl, P.G. Wodehouse, James Joyce, J.R.R. Tolkien to name a few, are not to be sneezed at. I left my mother's Mills and Boons alone though. They were horrible little things and never racy enough.

That I have grown up to be pierced and tattooed, rock and metal loving guitar player, OTT footballer and porn connoisseur does not surprise me. I was heading that way throughout my formative years. I do however have a foundation of being brought up in a cultured environment. Music, art, books, nature.

So yeah, I read a lot.

- Sen

Viva Hollywood!

I was reading my favourite cynical and satrical site. There was a poll which I answered just for the balls of it.

Would you sacrifice your own life to save 1 million strangers?

Naturally, I answered 'no'. And honestly, I wouldn't. Also, a stupid situation like that occurs when? And how?

Back in the old days I can imagine Chief Hunkahunkaluku of the Hubbahubbabubba tribe sacrificing his virginal daughter Kumonanbonkme in a volcano to save the people and their village. Only problem is, volcanos don't really give a shit what you throw into it before it erupts. Of course there're probably a few guilty looking village boys (just before the shit hits the fan) who think that goddamn, the volcano god really wanted a virgin. Oops.

But think about it. Would you? Sacrifice yourself for a million strangers? I suppose we're used to movie propaganda and noble and honorable good guy decisions on screen. There's probably internal peer pressure on you to say, "Yes! I will kill myself to save these people I don't even know."

But cue Mel Gibson torn and bloody, surrounded by fire and brimstone, accepting his fate. Viva Hollywood!

Truth be told? Part of my answer is also due to the fact I think the world is overpopulated and that rabbits and hamsters have nuthin on human beings. We outfuck them any day of the year. The only reason why they need to resort to multiple births is that apart from their own natural predators, we are very adept at killing vast numbers of them ourselves. That and the fact that little Nancy would like a hamster for Christmas. Or maybe a rabbit. Who cares?

When it all comes down to it, I am a selfish bugger who'd rather carry on with my own miserable life than to allow one million (here it is in numerics 1,000,000; and here's me: 1) to continue on their lives. In one million people there are bound to be a good number of individuals who deserve to inhabit this earth rather than me. I can accept that.

Or maybe for once in my life I can do something really useful which isn't limited to the amusement of a few and the orgasms of even less (hey, it makes good writing).

What would you have chosen?

For the record, 46.9% said "no" and the remaining 53.1% said "yes".

Oh, you fucking liars!

Cue insane laughter.

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!

There's going to be a backlash. I just know it.

i'm lovin' it!

I must tell you about this kid I saw in front of KL Plaza while I was waiting for Neo to pick me up to go for lunch. This little guy with his grandad. Nothing spectacular about the boy himself but it was his t-shirt which caught my attention. It was black and had the golden arches on the front. Had the slogan 'I'm lovin' it!' below said golden arches. Everything alright so far? Yeh. Except where it should have said 'McDonald's', it said, 'Masturbate'.

Kids these days.

Guess grandad is one of them modern new age grandads. Either that or he thinks Mcdonald's has a subdivision somewhere. Somewhere where 'Happy Meals' take on a whole new meaning.

I also must tell you about this dream I had. It's one of those where the words said in the dream echo in your mind and you have no idea what it means or what is its significance.

Conversation between two individuals:

Hey Errol.

Hiya Donkey Kong.

What's up?

Had me a shag last night.

Well now Mr. Flynn!

Yeh.

Any good?

Yep. She must have been a sword swallower wot run way from the circus.

Really? Well now Sir Flynn!

Yep. Once I'd sussed it out, I grabbed her by the back of her head , jammed her onto meself; and wore her like a cockring!

---- The End ----

And so, it echos.... cockring..... cockring.... cockring....

What the fuck?!?!

This shit is just too surreal for me. I'm freaked out.

Anyway, Errol Flynn 1 Donkey Kong 0. I'm going to go soak my head.

In like Flynn


On like Donkey Kong

Declaration

Apparently it is normal practice to declare what's in your bag on the user signature in golf forums now. It's like buying your hot girlfriend skimpy clothes. I have a few friends who did as such. 'Look what I'm shagging!!!!' it sez.

So. Look what I'm hitting!!!!

BurrowsGolf M.A.C. 421 Powersphere Driver (hot pants)
BurrowsGolf M.A.C. Powersphere 3 Wood (tiny tank top)
Dunlop LoCo #3 Utility (g-string peeking up over the hot pants)
Dunlop LoCo #4 Utility (push up bra)
Cleveland CG4 Irons [4-PW] (bangles and rings)
BurrowsGolf M.A.C. 56 degree Wedge (left shoe)
BurrowsGolf M.A.C. 60 degree Wedge (right shoe)
BurrowsGolf M.A.C. Ion II Putter (necklace)

Due to Popular Demand

Wahahahahah!!!!

Stamp Update

Was out partying last night with my friends. Was a fun night. I got an update for my stamp posting.


This is Natalie's tatt. Taken with permission I might add



The birthday boy's 9th flaming of the night. How the hell was he still standing?

Quality v Quantity

I've been quite prolific with posting of late.

I've also been talking quite a lot of bollocks lately.

I wish to unreservedly apologise to anyone and everyone who came here and discovered there was just bollocks or nothing interesting to read.

I do know Kevin, Greg and Janice read this drivel. Thanks guys!

I don't really know who else is reading this drivel but I thank you all for thinking I have been posting or could potentially be posting something worth reading or looking at.

Rage Against the Developer

Goddamn! I am severely pissed off. My sister and I bought a unit each of the Savanna apartments in Seri Maya in Ampang last year. It is a Tan & Tan project but they are developing it under the Bintang Buana flag. One of the payments was due on the 17th of November. The cheques were sent months ago. Now we find that the cheques never arrived or if they did, never banked in for whatever reason. Whatever it is, they consider the payment not made. Fine. Until the fact that they didn't send any reminders until the 4th of December is taken into consideration.

We only realised that something was amiss when it became known by bank statements that the cheques weren't paid in. You bet that we would have appreciated it if a reminder was sent before the due date with time to reissue the cheques. Now we're informed that we have incurred late payment interest charges. Goddamn, I am pissed off. They only sent a reminder more than 15 days after the due date. Incidently, the reminder hasn't even arrived. I only got to know about speaking to a Bintang Buana representative.

I'm not sure what my options are now but as far as I am concerned Tan & Tan's and Bintang Buana's image and customer appreciation are tainted as far as I'm concerned.

I Love Tramp Stamps

You may or may not know I just got back from Ipoh on Tuesday night. I did my usual things. Eat a lot of food, bitch about the quality and quantity of babes and buy myself a new Perak FA footy t-shirt from Yik Foong.

What is it with people Ipoh mali? We're really clannish and proud of our origins. I have a friend whose entire family is here in KL. Still, whenever they buy a new car for anyone in the family, it's back to Ipoh to register the car there just so they can have an 'A' plate on the car. My car has a Perak plate as well but that's cos the car was bought in Ipoh.

Anyway, as I was saying, I was in Yik Foong. Just before I left I popped into the tattoo shop on the ground floor. It's really nice, looks professional. They used to be in the basement of the complex which any Ipoh Mali will tell you is dingy, dirty and questionable. So they've made it up and out of the basement. Tattoos used to be cool cos they were non conformist. It's so damn trendy now. Fuck it. There were two girls behind the counter in the tatt parlour. I chatted with one, Tiffany, 20s, slim, not bad looking but slim with full boobs in a top that gave a hint of what-lies-beneath. Woohooo! She said she was one of the tattoo artists there. And I thought, "What the fuck?"

Tiffany was in a sleeveless top and jeans. So fair go. There's still a lot of skin covered but from what I could see, I did not see a single tattoo on her. It's like going to the hairdresser and finding her bald even though she still has every hair follicle. But honestly, she's the type of person that can't wear a lot of tattoos. She's the type that looks demure which is always the best thing when you least expect it and discover that she's got a tramp stamp. Like in Cars, when Lightning discovered that Sally the Porsche had pin striping when her active spoiler was raised. It's so ironic that one of the most evocative things in my book was depicted by a CGI cartoon.... about cars.


Viva la Tramp Stamp!


Pictures from ilovetattoosandpiercings

Memorable Lyrics Part I

Some lyrics just stay in your head. They may have meaning, they might have not but stay they do.

Placebo - Every You Every me
"All alone in space and time, there's nothing here but what here's mine"

Backyard Babies - Song for the Outcast
"Cry a river inside but never shed any tears"

The Beatles - Here, There and Everywhere
The whole song really is one great lyric.

The Beatles - In My Life
"Some are dead and some are living. In my life, I've loved them all"

Bowling for Soup - Girl All The Bad Guys Want
"Creaming over tough guys"

Britney Spears - I'm not a Girl, not yet a woman
I know it's Britney but that title is a great line.

The Byrds - Time of the Season
"What's your name? Who's your daddy? Is he rich like me?"

Ceasar's Palace - Jerk it Out
"Wind me up Put me down Start me up and watch me go"

Depeche Mode - Somebody
"She will listen to me when I want to speak about the world we live in and life in general, though my views may be wrong they may even be perverted, she'll hear me out and won't easily be converted to my way of thinking in fact she'll often disagree but in the end of it all she will understand me"

Depeche Mode - Policy of Truth
"It's too late to change events, it's time to face the consequence, in the delivering of proof in the policy of truth"

Joshua Radin - Closer
"So we're alone again, I wish it were over we seem to never end"

Salad Cheese

Occasionally, for no reason, I remember things that happened years ago. The latest one involves the gang punch bag, Sam and a waiter in Vultures on William Street in Northbridge. While the rest of us are chowing down on things like mochas, lattes, sausage and onions and other specialities, Sam wants salad and water. Nothing wrong with that. So the waiter asks if he wants cheese in his salad and what cheese would he like. That's when Gan pipes up, "He'd like cock cheese in his salad." It was a good laugh as it was spontaneous and unexpected but full marks to the waiter. He kept on a passive face throughout as the environment of Vultures would demand.



Cheese. Grated. Ouch. (FOTOSEARCH)

I'm Back Home

After 2 weeks of running around, I'm finally home.

There's a HUGE pile of clothes that need to be washed. The whole house needs cleaning and the kitchen sink's piled up with plates and cutlery.

Damn.

Maybe I should have stayed in Ipoh!



The Road Home

8

I've been asked before what my parents' house in Ipoh looks like. Especially with reference to the posting about bullying Well, okay. I'll post the pic. This is the house I grew up in. My parents moved in April 1974, I was born in June.

Paris This, Bitch.

Stuck in Ipoh till tomorrow. Not that I'm complaining. It's been very very chilled out for me while I'm here. Just laying back and relaxing when I should be panicking actually. I just got told my wiring work alone in the new house is gonna cost one thousand six hundred smackers. Fuck. Do I ever need to get back to yell, abuse, plead and cajole the bastards working on the house.

I was channel surfing the other day, yesterday I think. I came across this program on MTV called My Super Sweet 16 which should be retitled, "Spoilt Rich Detrimental-to-Society Little Cunts' Birthday Parties". If MTV ever wanted to push things further, this is it. Never mind The Pussycat Dolls, Fergie, Nelly Furtado and Tata Young.

Nelly Furtado deserves a mention and a welcome to this club. She finally realised that (i) she's quite fuckable and (ii) she'll sell more CDs if she exploited it. Promiscuous Girl? That one basically means:- Guy: Hey! You could be a slut. Are you? Girl: Why yes!. Are you a man whore? Guy: I am indeed. Wanna fuck? Girl: Sure!

The rest of them? I've whinged and bitched about such music before. The formulas are quite similar but predictable, (i) wouldn't you like to fuck with me? (ii) wouldn't you like to fuck me instead of your girlfriend? (iii) work hard for this pussy (iv) you'd like to fuck me wouldn't you? Ya can't! Haha! (v) I wanna fuck you (vi) I want you to fuck me. Can't run far from these themes.

It's all starting to work. Even on me. Sometimes I don't even need to know the words. I saw Tata Young's video for El Nin-Yo! I still don't know the words but do I ever want to fuck Tata Young. Damn. She's got me by the balls man! The clever little ho'.


Tata Young. One clever lil ho'.

I've decided that I've changed my mind. I don't hate these songs, I love these songs. I'm going to steal all this shit off P2P networks and burn CDs I'm going to call, (i) Mind Control, (ii) Pussy Control and (iii) Music To Fuck To. If I ever lose my vision and can't watch porn anymore, I'm going to put these songs on the player and have a wank instead.

Oh yeh, back to it, that Sweet 16 shit. Damn, is it ever offensive. Personally I wouldn't care very much but does it means that this is the trend that the current new generation coming up is going to adhere to? Such blatant arrogance, frivolity, expenditure and Paris Hilton. Very soon everyone's going to have a neighbour called Jones. Also 'Paris' is one day going to be a verb, a noun and an adjective, depending on how you use it. e.g. "What the Paris?!?!" and "Paris this, bitch!". Additionally, one day someone's going to say, 'Gee, they named a city in France after her.' That or 'There's a city named Paris??'. Paris fucking Hilton. Damn. What is the world coming to? Best thing that ever happened to her was having the video of her cock smoking and shagging made available to the world. She should have government warning stickers plastered all over her. Knowing her, it'll become her statement. She'll appear at a swanky gig just wearing the warning stickers over her naughty bits. She's the archetype of what's going wrong. She and MTV's little rich cunt's birthday show are what wrong with the excesses of the world these days. They make rappers on MTV Cribs, respectable.

What's a danger to young starlets in Hollywood? Sex, drugs, alcohol and Paris Hilton. But I love Paris Hilton. Without her, we'd never know what Lindsay Lohan's and Britney Spears' punanis look like.

You go girl.

Prioritising

Well, I'm still here in Ipoh. I'm waiting to get my car to the head of a queue to have its cuts and scrapes painted and touched up. I've been in Perak since Friday. My great grandmother's funeral was on Sunday in Taiping. She was buried beside her husband who had died 29 years before. I have vague recollections of him but not much detail. I was only three when he passed away. That's about all I had come back to Ipoh for. Other than that I have been eating quite a bit (on my way to fat bastard) and dealing with the craving. I haven't had a cigarette since I came back. What's probably going to happen is that I take my traditional break at the Tapah rest stop, have the first fag in days and then pass out from the giddiness. I have to quit soon. Sigh. It's getting too expensive. Wallet first. Health later.

I'm itching for a party. I haven't been out to a club since I went to Singapore. One thing at a time I suppose. I really need to see to some things concerning work and I have a kitchens designer, an electrician, a plumber and a contractor running loose in my new house in BU. A very dangerous thing to let happen unsupervised. Happily, they all would like to stay on my good side as in my job I give them additional business and potentially new clients. That's my saving grace on the house. I also trust my contractor, he's in charge of the whole schmang so I think I'm pretty safe. Well, priorities and prioritising. I first look into my house, then work and a little footy. After that I can look for the boys and hit Heritage Row. Alcohol, tobacco and eye candy.

Sounds like a plan.

World AIDS Day 2006

Yesterday was World AIDS Day. Though I doubt any of us did anything about it or even know it was on that day. Well, I've done my very little bit. I've placed the red ribbon on my blog. However it means nothing if you see and dismiss it.

Here are a series of questions. Have you ever taken an HIV test? If so, when? Have you put yourself at risk since then? When is your next test? How much at risk does your lifestyle put you in?

By now I'm very willing to bet you know of someone who is HIV positive or has died from AIDS. The HIV virus is perfect. It's a sexually transmitted, a blood contaminator and is in our bodily fluids as well. Semen, pre-coital fluid, vaginal secretion, saliva, blood. It's very very unlikely but you can even be infected through oral sex. Which is bad news for dedicated muff divers (me) and cock smokers (not me).

Let me explain why I think HIV is an almost perfect virus. It takes years to fully develop into AIDS and kill its host. By then the host might have infected other people as well keeping in the mantra of life which is to multiply. If it killed its host within days or weeks (like Ebola and Marburg) its host may not have had the time and opportunity for the copies of the virus to be transmitted to other hosts. If it were highly infectious it would be possible to be infected by airborne droplet transmission. It would then infect people very easily. All you have to do is breathe it in. If it were a perfect virus it would kill its hosts slowly and be highly infectious.

HIV kills slowly but is not highly infectious. 100% mortality rate.

Ebola kills very quickly and is highly infectious. 90% mortality rate.

Pray they don't decide to compare notes. We'd be fucked. A sickness which is (i)100% fatal, (ii)incurable, (iii)is carried by a host for years who will (iv)infect other people as easily as passing on a cold; would wipe out the human race in no more than a few decades.

The 'normal risk' of infection for me as a system of measure is unprotected vaginal sex. Anal sex is considered high risk as the off road was not designed for penetration and was in the blueprints as a one way street. The difference? Anal sex can cause tears in the anus and also the penile shaft skin. If you don't know the significance of that, wounds admit things like bacteria and viruses way easier. Which is why it is not a good idea to give oral sex when you have an ulcer in your mouth. I'm not sure about the risk of receiving though.

Me? I took an HIV (and big 4 STD) test 2 years ago with negative results across for everything tested for. Since then I've had unprotected sex with two women. They, their sexual histories and HIV test results are known to me. Any other women I have bedded was with the use of a condom (occasionally two, haha!) but no dental dam. That seems to be the norm for casual sex these days. Open mouth kissing, unprotected oral sex and the only protection being a condom during intercourse. My lifestyle at present does, I think, put me at moderately low risk. But still at risk no doubt. My next HIV test should be done and like really soon.

Do not even think it will not happen to you and that it happens to other people. HIV has no prejudice. HIV doesn't care about your financial state, your religion, your race or your character. You can be an absolute angel but you can still get it. Even abstinence may not save you. If you receive a blood transfusion for whatever reason and one of the bags has HIV infected blood, you will be infected yourself.

HIV will develop into AIDS. It will kill anyone it infects. It is up to you to choose your sexual lifestyle and be responsible for it. I have been stupid before. Fortunately, it didn't kill me. The sex wasn't even really that good. Wouldn't have mattered if it was the best sex I ever had. Dying is dying. Dead is dead.

All I have written is just my own opinion and my own understanding. I urge you to get the facts for yourself. This is a good start: Wikipedia - Category: HIV/AIDS

Janice's Nipples

Ah hah! First person to bite! From the Nipples posting! Well no. Not really. Janice is a buddy and (I hope) regular reader. She left this comment:

"Janice said...

Male or female nipples? I like male nipples. I have also heard the Asian female nipples are larger than Guilow female nipples. Men also get a kick from having their nipples *ahem-ed*.

Sorry, in a nipply mood :D"

Since I like Janice heaps, I shall respond to her comment in a posting rather than a counter comment, which is what I had originally started to do before deciding to honour her. I've even named the posting after her.

Well Janice, I'm primarily and exclusively interested in female nipples and what they are attached to. About nipple size, circumference, shape and colour, I don't really think it's a race thing. It's more an individual thing. I think I've been up close and personal with enough of them and from an adequate variety of nationalities to confirm that. The general rule is, that nipples should be darker than skin colour. Remember that one. It's another one of my master strokes of genius.

What is *ahem-ed*? Bitten? Burnt? Twisted? Kicked? Pinched? Jeezuz. Poor Victor. Or is that why he's gonna propose? Hahaha!!

Nipples Nipples Nipples!!!

I just had a look at my blog statistics on statcounter. The most popular page is the blog posting titled Upper Class Nipples. It wasn't even about sex or nudity for that mattter! Some visitors came from a blog search of the word 'nipple' or 'nipples'. My stats just after the posting shot up significantly. No doubt this posting will create its own spike in site visitors. With a title like Nipples!!! x 3, I'll have people flocking to my blog once again. I think it's funny but at the same time not very good cos it creates the false spike which means only half the people (or less) are actually reading what I write.

Nipples!

Well, I guess it can be understood. People like a background to their fantasies. No doubt blogs about an active sex life are extremely popular as there is the realism factor involved. That's why reality shows are so popular. Thems real peoples with real names and not acting. I'd bet a female exhibitionist blog would be even more popular. Well, until the blogger realises that there's money to be made as an amateur website. Unless the blogger is a pure blogger of course.

Nipples!

I'm expecting another huge statistical spike from this posting. So, before I sign off, I've just one last thing to say. Yeh, no prizes for guessing....

NIPPLES!!!

Subway Ninjas

Be very very careful in Singapore. There are ninjas living amongst the other everyday Singaporeans. I've discovered a very sophisticated method of detecting them. I was riding the MRT (train) back to Clementi when I noticed not 5 feet away from me was one of these cold blooded professional assassins. He appeared to be playing a game on his mobile phone complete with the ear phones.

That's what he wants people to think.

It's actually a state-of-the-art communicator. (Okay, it's a cell phone.) He's actually listening to instructions from his clan while pretending to be playing the game.

Throughout the journey, he's standing in a moving train with both hands on the phone, and never once lost his balance or had to take a step or shuffle his feet to regain some balance. Perfectly balanced the entire journey.

I kept well away. With my imperfect balance and constant correction to stay upright I didn't want to step on his foot or bump into him or something like that.

That's asking for a shuriken up the ass.

Not So Happy Feet

Went to watch Happy Feet. It was a very charming movie. Funny, entertaining and visually very well produced. I enjoyed it but left on a slightly unhappy feeling. I wouldn't want to spoil very much of it for you if you have not watched it but I will make my point.

I feel that the film gives us the wrong message. Why is it that we will only protect flora and fauna and do something about conservation if the species in question benefit us in some way. Unless it amuses us, is cute and/or attractive, we just don't bother? As guardians of this planet and all its living entities, we don't do a very good job. Cute, beneficial or not.

My Oldest Living Relative

The weekend I was in Singapore, my great grandmother had her 105th birthday party in Taiping. Not that she could really appreciate it anymore as her mind had failed her before her body did. I suppose my cousins and I are guilty of not elevating her to great-great grandmother status. Of the lot of us, three are in our 30s and the rest all in their 20s already. It was quite possible, just that none of us came to the circumstances of having children. My great grandmother attended the funerals of both my grandmother (her eldest daughter) and my grandfather. She outlived them both which is terrible in itself but the price of an extraordinarily long life.

My great grandmother passed away on 28th November. The day I returned from Singapore.

The picture below is of my great grandmother and myself at her birthday dinner in 2003.

Goodbye Ah Chor.



Mdm Lim, (Ong Geak Ho) November 1901 - 28 November 2006

Back Home

I had a really good holiday in Singapore. There was not a time when I was not fed well by my friends (Greg, Cheryl and Kenneth) and my sister and her husband. I've gained two kilos. Had a real fright when I stepped onto a weighing scale. I was very pleasantly surprised on my last night in Singapore. I had really good chicken rice in Toa Payoh. Almost on par with the ultimate in my hometown of Ipoh if not as good as.

I had originally planned on blogging every day while I was in Singapore which I did manage to do the first three days but this got rather difficult to do as I was mostly out. I then discovered that my sister's connection was paid by the hour and not unlimited. Also the modem was in my sister's bedroom. So the last few days, it didn't really happen.

I thoroughly enjoyed my stay south of the border. I will catch up on the missing two blog days soon.

Fergie's Humps Spotted in Singapore

Well, I've finally discovered what all that hump hump was about in the Black Eyed Peas' "My Humps". Having figured out that if anyone in the BEP had humps, it would be Stacy Fergie. I found her humps all right. All over Singapore. I am now trying to find her lady lumps. So far, no luck.



Singapore - Day 3

Upper Class Nipples

Spent the day with Greg - my buddy, footy team mate and all round good guy from my days in Perth. Well, for all the gloss Singapore has, apparently it’s run like it’s a Sdn Bhd (Pty Ltd). Well, no matter. There isn’t a country in the world where there isn’t any corruption within the government. Or stupidity for that matter. That kind of thing abounds in politics. The only thing that proliferates more than stupidity is greed. Basically Greg bitched about the government half the time.

Anyway, happy thoughts. After all, I am on holiday.

I bought footy gear in Queensway Shopping Centre. Good stuff, cheaper than if I’d bought it in KL although I’ve never seen fingerless Adidas Sala keeper gloves in KL before.

I’ve been eating really really well since I got here. I didn’t have, in the end, teppanyaki like I said I was going to have. I had instead soup, ciabatta bread and spaghetti carbonara for dinner. Coffee and a really fantastic cheesecake for dessert. I was doing the blogger thing at first, which was taking pictures of my food. I first took a picture of the ciabatta bread and olive oil.

Next I took a picture of my soup which was served in a really unusual but attractive soup bowl.

I had wanted to take a picture of my carbonara as well except that by then I didn’t want to (didn’t dare) bring out my camera phone anymore.

I’ll explain why.

In the table in front of me, there was a young attractive Singaporean mother with her two young children. I think junior needed a feed so she popped a tit out and plugged the baby in. With junior being fed, there was no way I was going to be seen with a camera in my hand.

I remember going out with Cynthia when Joshua was just a wee baby. When he needed a feed she placed a large napkin (or nappy) over Joshua and herself. I already remember being a little taken aback then. This was the same only a bit more with the being taken aback.

I dined in a posh restaurant today too. Young attractive Singaporean mother had an upper class accent.

In conclusion, upper class nipples are light brown.

Singapore – Day 2

Singaporean Japanese

I've been in Singapore since yesterday. It's been very Japanese so far. I had a teriyaki chicken bento box yesterday for dinner and I had yakitori and sashimi for lunch today. Tonight I will be having teppanyaki for dinner with Greg. Mind you, all my meals will be from three separate places. I think tomorrow I'd like to explore what else Singapore has to offer besides Japanese food. I must say though that I've thoroughly enjoyed it. It's of good quality, very tasty and very reasonably priced.

Day 2 - Singapore

The Journey South

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Off I Go

Will be in Singapore until next week. I haven't been for three years and that was only for a night. Prior to that my last visit was in 1983. This could be interesting. I'm taking my laptop with me. Will be blogging as usual.

iPod Accessories

I've just got an iPod Nano with 8Gb capacity as a gift. Now that's generosity. All along I've been using my cell phone as a portable mp3 player. This changes everything. Including the potential weight of my wallet and my health. I had absolutely no idea how much original iPod accessories cost till I dropped into I.T. World in Megamall. I nearly had a heart attack. RM120 for the stupid little leather case. RM600 for aftermarket headphones. RM169 for a carry strap. RM400+ for a dock with speakers.

Holy moly.

Good thing I'm heading to Singapore on Thursday. I'd only got footy shoes on my shopping list. I'll have a look at accessories there as well. What is most likely is that I will come back and buy the stuff through lelong.com as anything else is just too expensive.

Can anyone tell me where to get the 'chapelang' iPod stuff? A couple of bucks for a silicone cover is my kinda shopping style.

Daddy's Girl

What is with fathers and daughters? When girls are little, they automatically become daddy's little princesses. Fathers themselves are more protective over daughters than sons.

It is very obvious that I approach both Lydia and Luke differently. This is not deliberate but it's there. Everyone says she's got me round her little finger. I don't spoil her or intentionally favour her over her brother but she wants special attention from me and most of the time she gets it. If Lydia misbehaves, she gets it from me no different than Luke. I've learnt to teach them by way of reason. I'll only smack them for two things, blatant misbehaviour and telling lies. They merely get severely yelled at for disobedience.

Naturally I coddle Lydia more and typically among dads (even honorary ones like myself) I seem to be pushing for Luke to be more independent. I do it to both of them but more so on Luke. It's not a fair life for them. Even if they don't realise it yet. Abandoned by their biological father and have to be raised by a single mom. That guy needs to have his fingers broken one by one. Children need both parents. My ex is a good parent but kids need balance. They need to have both parents. The biggest threat that can be used on them is, "I'm going to tell daddy!" They don't like it when I'm angry or disappointed with them. Especially Lydia. Her bambi eyes become very watery for mere things like disapproval or disappointment from me.

What's tragic is that one day I will abandon them myself. It's inevitable. I have no future with their mother other than being good friends. In time I will probably want to seek a new relationship with someone else and what girlfriend and potential wife would like an ex girlfriend in the background. Add two children to that and it's a mix for trouble. If I ever became interested in someone I think that would be the end of it anyway. I am fully expecting my ex to have nothing to do with me after I tell her I've met someone.

How is this going to be explained to the kids? Right now I am single not looking. Still. Eventually.

Last night I sat on Lydia's bed and rubbed her back till she fell asleep. I felt sad. Maybe one day I will have children of my own but I'll always remember the little girl who loved me and needed me just because she was daddy's little girl.

Fish Pond Blues

Argh. The mechanics of a fish pond is giving me a headache. I am designing by myself, a fish pond for my new house. It's not just a rectangular hole in the ground, there's more to it than that. My pond tentatively will be 12 feet in length, 7 feet width and 6 feet depth of which 4' is dug down and 2' is built up above ground. Of the 2 feet built up, only one foot will have water. I'm not sure about aesthetics but building up the 2 feet is definitely safer. Ponds at ground level have a certain notoriety in having people and animals falling in. My parents' front pond has claimed every single dog we've had (till they learn it's there) and a certain number of children.... including myself!

My headache is the filter. I don't know the pond volume to filter volume ratio for a comprehensive pump driven filter. It's causing me a headache in the design as my first design showed its glaring errors when I drew it out. To by pass the need for an extensive filter system I was going to use two cannister filters which could filter up to 1000 gallons each. Here's the trouble, I had them designed sunk down to fit level with the 2 foot build up. Once looking at an actual diagram of it last night I realised that the outflow works on gravity i.e. they need to be higher than the surface of the water. Crap crap crap.

Back to the drawing board.

That Face Recognition Thing

I did that Face Recognition thingy that's so in fashion right now. I don't necessarily agree with all of the selection. I mean, even Julian Lennon was in there. I submitted more than one of my pictures. There appears to be consistent faces in there. Joi Ito for one. He's in two out of three and at always the highest percentage. While he didn't get the highest percentage, Stephen Chau is in every one of them. Strange. I don't think I look like him but I've been told otherwise before. It's not a bad thing that I will probably look like John Woo when I'm older. I just hope I have more hair than he does. Lastly, it's a good thing that the absolutely delectable Shu Qi is only at 74%. If it were 90% and above I might go blind within a week!

http://www.myheritage.com

What was that again?

Originally posted in Strange Highs and Strange Lows, September 30th.

I was in Subang Jaya on Friday. Was there in Subang Parade to buy a TV and a home theatre system for the condo in Mont Kiara. Being a cheapskate and really hating Parade's parking payment system I parked in Carrefour (free!) and walked over. As I crossed the road I came across quite an attractive girl. Have no idea why she looked slightly alarmed and quickened her pace. I walk faster than most people myself and I wasn't keeping up. It's all okay in the end after all as I got to ogle at her ass in the tight skirt and the half sprint greatly increased posterior sway and shake. I am startled though. I was minding my own business and I certainly didn't give her a funny look nor did I leer at her. The tragedy of being a cheapskate, and deliberately walking faster and clomping away behind her just to let her know I was still there, took me to the doorway of the mall. That's when I realised my cheque book was in the glove compartment of my car which in turn was in another building entirely.

D-oh!

Once I returned with cheque book, the damn shop wasn't open. So I killed time by going upstairs to MPH. I found 'Thud!' (I actually wrote it as 'Bonk!' before remembering that wasn't the actual title; Thud, Bonk; what's the difference eh?) in paperback. Something I have been looking for for about a year now. Quite a lucky thing then since I wouldn't have visited the MPH if the electrical goods store had been open when I got there. The hardcover copy is all I've seen up to now and being a cheapskate, it's RM99.90. Hooray for paperbacks! I had a theory once that the book was only released in hardcover because of the title, which is 'Thud!' (not 'Bonk!'). So all good. I found a book I'd been wanting to find for ages.

I also searched the store database for Durrell (G. M.) books. Grand total: 2. I spoke to the guy at the customer service desk about it and he said they would be ordering more Durrell books which delighted me no end. But then the guy said that Durrell had a new book coming out soon. That's when I blinked and informed the guy that Durrell died years ago. Jan 30, 1995 to be precise.

What was that again?

Just Rambling About Blogs

I suppose I have to clear something up. Even an old friend from years back asked a few questions. In a few of my posts you might see me refer to my children or to Luke and Lydia. Let me explain, my ex-girlfriend is a single mother with two children, Lydia (5) and Luke (3). I am not their biological father though they still call me daddy. Their mother and I split up after two years in May this year though we're still friends now. This leads to some complications and a sad sorry state should I meet someone and decide pursue a new relationship. It wasn't easy and it still sometimes gets into a mess. Life, it ain't easy.

Now, about the blogs I've listed on my sidebar. I do read the blogs I have listed there. I list them because I do think they're worth reading. By having them there I would hope other people reading my blog and who approve of my writing would move on to the others. I do think that the blogs I list are, to a degree, reflective of my own self. I was startled only today when I was reading one of the blogs and came across very strong and extreme views on race and religion. He has a right to his own opinion despite being a radical racist but there's no way I'm linking my blog to his now. Instantly deleted. I couldn't do anything else. I first I thought it might be shock tactics or satrical, so I read the whole thing. Nope. Just one of those guys who dig the dude ranting about Ketuanan Melayu (Malay Master Status) in parliament whilst brandishing a keris. If you're Chinese, Indian, homosexual or Jewish, he had a crack at you. What disturbed me was the apparent criticism of Islam. I read that while Islam is being touted as promoting peace, it actually advocates war or warlike behaviour.

On a happier note, I just noticed earlier than Ben of Just Sewjin added this blog onto his links page. Thanks Ben! Also, in Maine Ideas, I thought this was a good posting, Malaysia Bodoh? Ooohh Noowhhh...

I should state that I didn't ask nor inform the writers that I was putting up links to their blogs nor did I ask for them to link me in return. In hindsight, perhaps I should have asked permission. Well, if you own one of the blogs I listed and don't want it there, let me know and I will remove it and issue you an apology.

You might or might not have also realised that two of the blogs listed are rather adult oriented in nature. AwesomeZara, I think is a good blog. It's regularly updated, she writes well and is extremely opinionated. Opinionated is good to me as long as it doesn't promote hatred. Like deleted blog guy for example. I actually became a fan of her blog after she wrote a piece on mean kids and bullies. Which pretty much inspired my own posting about bullying, Growing Up Bullied. Recently though, she's been writing a lot about sex. Have no idea why but I'm not removing it of my links. Sex is a big part of our lives, loves, social standing, behaviour, appeal, politics, religion, ego, et cetera. It's a whole posting on its own. I like her writing. It stays.

Anal Amy however would cause lots of the tsk tsk tsk, shaking of heads to the downright outraged. Gimme a break. Anyone who doesn't like sex is either (i) dead, (ii) got a broomstick up their ass, (iii) impotent, or (iv) isn't getting any. I bet you those moral crusaders have a mini dungeon in their basement or four wives. Maybe both. It's another whole posting on its own. However. I like sex. As much as the next guy.... or girl. Amy's blog stays too.

What's my criteria of a good blog? Open, honest, personal, well written, regularly updated and occasionally thought provoking and occasionally light hearted. Regardless of topic or nature, the blogs listed on my sidebar are worth reading. At least, they are to me.

Learn a New Word Today

On the lead up to last night's footy game, emails were being trading back and forth between the team. As it was only seven of us showed up but we still managed a hard fought win at 6 - 3. Back to the emails. For some reason, Dario signed his email 'Mr. Bustamante'. In a flash of inspiration, I signed my email, 'Mr. Bukkake'. Upon arrival at the footy, I started getting flak about making jokes 'only you would understand' lead by Adrian and Danny. Dario, I'm sure, knew what 'Bukkake' meant. He just wasn't going to confirm it. Instead he deflected the attention to Khalil who apprently does know what it means.

So what? It's just a word. It's a word which describes a sexual practice or act. That's about it. I refuse to believe the numbnuts in the team did not know what 'bukkake' means. There are definately no angels in FC Rojak. Are they embarassed as to what the word describes?

Bukkake (n), (boo-ka-key) is a group sex practice wherein a series of people take turns ejaculating onto someone, usually multiple males onto a female. There can be overtones of erotic humiliation in this practice. Various styles exist, but let's not get into that eh?

Bukkake is the noun form of the Japanese verb bukkakeru (to dash [water]), and means simply "splash" or "dash." The compound verb can be decomposed into two verbs: butsu and kakeru. Butsu literally means to hit, but in this usage it appears to be an intensive prefix as in buttamageru ("completely astonished") or butchigiri ("overwhelming win"). Kakeru in this context means to shower or pour. The word bukkake is often used in Japanese to describe pouring out water (or other liquids) with sufficient momentum to cause splashing or spilling.

Indeed, bukkake is used in Japan and Tanzania to describe a type of dish where the toppings are poured on top of noodles, as in bukkake-udon and bukkake-soba.

But of course, if I ever heard (overheard) someone order either dish, I will probably be unsophisticated enough to giggle my ass off.

Wishing everyone a super happy banzai bukkake fun-time.

Angry Cunt Music

Someone, I cannot remember whom, remarked that all the angsty music ranging from mildly annoyed to angry to raging was brilliant. He called it 'Angry Cunt Music' and absolutely loved it all.

There're quite a few categories of Angry Cunt. From being pissed off with life and people to the world in general. The biggest category of ACM is however, "Being Pissed Off With Men". Alanis Morrisette started it going big with You Oughta Know. Of course she made it happen by using the word 'fuck' in her lyrics. She sang it at the Grammys and probably got a standing ovation for being a chick with balls. Hell, they give you a standing ovation at Grammys just as long as your song is angry, demanding change or about homeless and/or abused people.

We then encountered the strong female lead by Shania Twain. If You're Not In It For Love, You're Outa Here. And she'll probably kick you outa wherever 'here' is. With a chick that looked and had a body like that, not every guy woulda been in it for love actually. Personally, I would have been there for the money. After that came That Don't Impress Me Much. Which was good for people like me who couldn't compete with other guys who had the looks, money and muscles. Along with all that came The Sensitive Male Poofter who would swear to love some girl forever regardless of her looks, intelligence or state of health. You know what? Neither Angry Cunt nor Sensitive Poofter ever believed what they were singing.

Shania Twain earns enough not to give a flying fuck about some guy's wealth, looks or car. Also she's married to her producer and songwriter. Better not piss off the goose with the golden eggs.

Sensitive Poofter just wants pussy.

He ain't getting any.

The songs and videos making the big time now are black guys who may or may not have served time who want chicks to take off all their clothes (cos it's gettin hot wherever they happen to be) and get jiggy with it. This is what proves what girls have always known and guys are only beginning to realise. If a guy goes out making it goddamn obvious that he thinks a girl is hot and he wants to fuck her, chances are he is in fact, going to get to fuck her. Only these days the phrase 'fucking' is the last bit of machismo that guys can hang on to. Guys don't get fucked. Girls do. Only these days you'd better have a orgasm ratio of your one to her five or the word that you can't fuck properly is making the rounds. Guys had better walk around with chests out saying they fucked Britney or Zoe last night while they can cos the way things are going one day fucking might end up referring to guys being fucked no matter who does the actual penetrating.

Anyway. Back to the Angry Cunt Music.

Case in question: Kelly Clarkson - Since U Been Gone vs. Marion Raven - Break You.

You may call me 'Your Honor'.

Here we have two young females obviously pissed off with their ex-boyfriends. First ruling goes against Ms. Clarkson for the unimaginative Prince style spelling error which went out long ago with shoulder pads and Sensitive Black Male Poofters. In her favour, the only thing which sells the whole song is the absolutely brilliant use of the words, "yeah...yeah!" in the chorus. I love it.

Marion Raven has the unfair advantage that I've seen her in person and think that she's absolutely beautiful. More so than her pictures and videos. The blonde girl in M2M, Marit What's-her-name, is as is.

Never mind the lyrics. Not hard to figure out. Don't even have to. What speaks absolute volumes in each situation are the respective videos.

Kelly trashes her ex's place gleefully and exits just before ex comes home with new girlfriend.

Marion throws her ex's stuff out of HER place and burns the shit up.

Having seen both videos, lyrically, this is what I figure. Kelly was friends with this guy who tried and succeeded to get into her pants. I'm guessing 'that stupid love song' she fell for was by a Sensitive Poofter. Once she got dumped she went bananas and smashed up his place. Did she need to do that if she was so moving on? Opinions welcome.

Marion loses points for appearing to be a wide eyed blur girl who can't tell her boyfriend's sticking his dipstick into other cars. Gains points for the chorus bit which implies that once she's realised what's going on he can go fuck himself (or the other birds he's been fucking instead of her). Here's the thing, the setting is that the place is hers and she burns all his shit outside since he's too chicken to come back to get it. I would be too if I were him. Hell hath no fury like an Angry Cunt.

So Kelly is this whiney little bitch who'll break the toys you don't let her play with while Marion stands up for herself and gets on with it after reversing the situation.

Now, who got the Grammys?

Ankle Woes

Damn damn damn! I've sprained my ankle while playing futsal. Can't play footy and can't even play my old man game, golf. What a bitch....

I'm of course quite grateful that I live in this age. In the stone age, had I done this to my ankle, I'll probably expect to be left behind and eventually eaten by a sabre toothed tiger or something. Of course in those days I doubt I'd be doing something recreational. Back then I think staying alive was a full time occupation.

You Mutha Fukka in the Kancil

Well, my last post seemed to be rather prophetic. Yesterday my friend Barbs was driving to work and came across two accident scenes around the Semantan area. At the second accident site, one of the cars was being towed to the side of the road. I think drivers are so cute. They harangue and swear while stuck in the bottleneck up to the incident then slow down and rubberneck while going past it. I hate you bastards. Anyway, the tow truck was at the time blocking the left two lanes. The rightmost lane was moving along at about 50km/h now. This one Kancil who was doing the Small Car Chop and Change chops into the rightmost lane, into moving traffic, causing the cars it's cut off to hit the anchors. What results is a three car end-to-end and the Kancil dashes away in the distance. Barbs was the third car in the melee. My little girl was in the backseat of the car. She's only 5 years old. I want to kill the cock smoker in the little bastard Kancil. I can only be really relieved that she was wearing her seatbelt. We've always insisted that the children wear their seatbelts no matter how short the drive. I am always amazed to see unrestrained children in cars.


Anyway, when Barbs and the other two drivers were exchanging details, there was a screech and a crash. All turned just in time to see a motorcycle sliding down the road and the rider rolling down the road behind it. When he stopped rolling, he sat up, with his back to traffic. That's when someone screamed, "TAXI!!!!!". There was a taxi bearing down on him. He took one look behind him and instantly curled up flat on the road. The taxi actually went over the top half of his body. He was saved by the anonymous lady who screamed, his quick reflexes and the fact that he's a small chap.

When I went out myself later that day, I came across two accidents and saw a near accident. Barbs is hurting on the right side of the face, head, arm, hip, buttock. Lydia's tummy is hurting from the seatbelt. Not that I'm blaming the seatbelt. If she was like your typical kid in a car, she would have been in the backseat, in the middle, unrestrained. Were she there she would have flown through the gap between the front seats and been stopped either by the center console or worse, the windscreen. I'm very angry that this happened to two people I love. The average stupid dumbfuck Malaysian driver only gives a damn about shaving a few seconds off his/her journey and is the most selfish moron while in control of a car.

I dare say this. I am a good driver. In every sense of the word 'good'. I drive, handle and control my car better than what would be considered competant. I am suitably curteous and considerate to other drivers. Think about it. Your husband/wife/children/parents/siblings/blah fucking blah, share the road with me. Similarly, people I know and care about, share the road with YOU. So, if I ever catch the driver of the Kancil, I am very willing to consider vigilante justice. I will kill you, whoever you are, with my bare hands.

Every Malaysian driver is a potential criminal (manslaughter, grevious bodily harm) with a weapon (a car, a truck, a 4WD, whatever). For God's sake. Wake up. Fellow human beings share the road.

I will play the kid factor card as well.

There are children in the vehicles around you.

Yesterday, the child in the accident happened to be mine.

Rear Window Screens

Rear window screens. They're those bastard things in the back window of a car which supposedly block out the sun from shining on the passengers in the back seat. What they are to me is a bloody nuisance. I can see the sense in it, my mom would probably like having such a thing if she were a passenger in the back. I don't like them because when they're in the car in front of me, I can't see through the car. Don't read me wrong. I don't care who's in the car in front nor do I care what they're doing. Why I don't like these screens is because I can't see what's happening in front of the car. I like to read ahead. It's no different from driving behind a big 4 wheel drive car or a truck. And I hate following 4WDs and trucks. You have not a clue what's going on in front of them.

Defensive driving involves anticipating what's going to happen and more importantly what the traffic around you might do. For this you need to know what's going on around you 360 degrees. I've seen enough rear enders to know this could be more avoidable. One thing about rear enders, is that the guy at the back always gets it worse. My buddy tapped his BMW into a back of a Chairman. His car looked like it hit a wall. I had a Kancil hit my Waja from behind. I compared the damage and let the offending driver off. Of course, I didn't expect to get a mild case of whiplash but that was later.


Back to the screens. I hate them. Nothing I can do about it. Here's a piece of advice. Don't tailgate. Sounds simple but quite hard for the average Malaysian driver to do for some strange reason.