The Latest Alanism

My buddy Joe had a get together at his place last night and it was a reunion of sorts. The core bunch consisted of guys from Ipoh. Past schoolmates and classmates. The Cockroach Brigade was there.

The Cockroach Brigade consists of:
Myself
Chin
Joe
Alex
Kar Loong

Bear in mind, Alex is frightened of cockroaches and shrieks like a little girl in the vicinity of one. We were in form 4 which would make us 16.

Flashback #25968C

Events unfolded like such. I spotted a cockroach in the corridor during a lesson. I sneak out and try to pick it up by the feelers but the feelers keep breaking and the cockroach is really freaking out. I give up and report my failure. Chin then goes out and stops cockroach in its tracks by stepping on it.

*Squish*

I pick up squashed cockroach by the feelers and while Joe distracts Alex, I place remains of cockroach in one of his exercise books. Joe then shifts topic to lesson regarding the subject matter of the exercise book. Alex opens his exercise book.

One shriek later the class teacher watches an energetically flung exercise book flies past her. The remains of the cockroach vacate the book early in the flight and ends up next to Alex's chair.

We are treated to the view of Alex jumping up and down on carcass of cockroach whilst shrieking.

A few minutes later I notice Kar Loong, who had earlier emptied out the contents of his pencil case onto his desk, putting said items back into said pencil case. I engage him in conversation having picked up the largest piece of cockroach that hadn't been ground into the floor. Kar Loong being a polite and well mannered chap maintains eye contact with me while we talk. I throw piece-of-cockroach onto his desk. He's still putting things into his pencil case which he locates with his peripheral vision. With my peripheral vision I'm observing what he's picking up and putting into his pencil case.

Eraser, pen, pen, pencil, ruler, piece-of-cockroach....

His face is a treat as his hand is arrested mid journey to the pencil case. Kar Loong then breaks eye contact with me and has a closer examination of what he has in his hand.

The piece-of-cockroach is dropped plenty quick and he politely but firmly pushes past me. He goes up to Joe and punches Joe in the arm and shoulder.

Naturally Joe takes exception.

Kar Loong: I know it was you!
Joe: What the fuck are you talking about?
Kar Loong: You put the cockroach on my desk for me to pick up!
Joe: Why the hell are we speaking in italics?

Well no. Not really. Not the last sentence. Joe actually didn't say anything like that but rather he fixed a beady accusing eye on me.

Anyway, on to the topic of the subject heading of this post. The latest Alanism. Alan is a schoolmate. He's somewhat eccentric. Sometimes he comes up with absolute gems. We had another one last night.

Me: So, are they still living in squalor?
Alan: Uh, no man, they live in Bangsar.

Classic.