The Living After Death

I have a few childhood friends whom I'm still in touch with. One of my buddies TK, I've known since I was seven years old. We were on the same school bus till he moved house and I kinda lost contact with him. We were in the same school but he was a year older.

A year later, a family friend wanted to introduce my sister and I to her lawyer's son. It turned out to be TK. How the wheels of fortune and fate turn. A few years later he moved back to my area but our friendship was already pretty secure by then.

His mother and him were considered family friends and his mom would take us fishing, we'd go out for meals and she once took a bunch of us noisy kids for a holiday. It was brilliant.

We stayed in touch even after we went overseas. On the day he found that he'd been accepted to Bonn University in Australia, I was with him in PJ. He bought the beers that night and it started a tradition of taking turns to buy the beers whenever we met up when he came back and it continued when I went over to Australia myself. This then changed from the Australian summer holidays to Chinese New Year after I'd started work in KL.

Over the years we've seen a lot, done a lot and the friendship has stood the test of time. Until something happened. Something I've written about on this blog before.

His mother took her own life last year after a few years of depression. It shocked me to the core and greatly saddened my whole family. Since that day I haven't called, spoken to or seen TK. It was nothing but plain cowardice. I didn't know what to say to him and I didn't think any words would be adequate. People told me that as a friend, he'd know what I was trying to say but I just couldn't do it.

We had a brief chat on MSN half an hour ago. He initiated it. First contact in a year and a half. He'd like to meet up when he comes to KL at the end of the month. Of course I accepted immediately, somewhat gratefully I might add. He might not be looking for it but I have to tell him how sorry I am and how I have remembered his mother.

I know I still carry the sadness with me cos I'm feeling it now.