Kitty Golf

Since we're on the topic of kitty kats, the cats around my old house in DU used to drive me nuts. They'd fight and wail all night and they'd sleep on my car. I think it's when the hood is still warm. Once they even had a fight on the hood of my car. I didn't see it but there were enough scratches on my hood to convince me they did. It's not fun having muddy cat paw prints from the front of the car to the back as well. Once a cat left a souvenir on my hood. That must have been one sick pussy. A lump of cat puke isn't the best thing to look at first thing in the morning.

Once a cat sat on my porch roof wailing away like a banshee. It was 2 in the morning and making a hell of a racket. I went downstairs and grabbed my putter and climbed up on the wall dividing my house and the house next door. I popped my head up and the cat was a foot away from me, wailing away.

It had not a clue I was right behind it holding a golf club. I could have brained the bloody thing right there and then. But you can't can you? It'd take a really heartless bastard to do something like that.

I hissed, "Hey cat!" and when it turned around I swung at it with my putter. But I deliberately missed. The cat split like its tail had been scalded. As I watched its rapidly disappearing rear end I heard a voice from the bedroom window next door.

"Thank you!"

It wasn't worth it though. I'd damaged the putter face on the concrete. All it did was give me an excuse to buy a new putter.

Men are equipment whores.