Paris This, Bitch.

Stuck in Ipoh till tomorrow. Not that I'm complaining. It's been very very chilled out for me while I'm here. Just laying back and relaxing when I should be panicking actually. I just got told my wiring work alone in the new house is gonna cost one thousand six hundred smackers. Fuck. Do I ever need to get back to yell, abuse, plead and cajole the bastards working on the house.

I was channel surfing the other day, yesterday I think. I came across this program on MTV called My Super Sweet 16 which should be retitled, "Spoilt Rich Detrimental-to-Society Little Cunts' Birthday Parties". If MTV ever wanted to push things further, this is it. Never mind The Pussycat Dolls, Fergie, Nelly Furtado and Tata Young.

Nelly Furtado deserves a mention and a welcome to this club. She finally realised that (i) she's quite fuckable and (ii) she'll sell more CDs if she exploited it. Promiscuous Girl? That one basically means:- Guy: Hey! You could be a slut. Are you? Girl: Why yes!. Are you a man whore? Guy: I am indeed. Wanna fuck? Girl: Sure!

The rest of them? I've whinged and bitched about such music before. The formulas are quite similar but predictable, (i) wouldn't you like to fuck with me? (ii) wouldn't you like to fuck me instead of your girlfriend? (iii) work hard for this pussy (iv) you'd like to fuck me wouldn't you? Ya can't! Haha! (v) I wanna fuck you (vi) I want you to fuck me. Can't run far from these themes.

It's all starting to work. Even on me. Sometimes I don't even need to know the words. I saw Tata Young's video for El Nin-Yo! I still don't know the words but do I ever want to fuck Tata Young. Damn. She's got me by the balls man! The clever little ho'.


Tata Young. One clever lil ho'.

I've decided that I've changed my mind. I don't hate these songs, I love these songs. I'm going to steal all this shit off P2P networks and burn CDs I'm going to call, (i) Mind Control, (ii) Pussy Control and (iii) Music To Fuck To. If I ever lose my vision and can't watch porn anymore, I'm going to put these songs on the player and have a wank instead.

Oh yeh, back to it, that Sweet 16 shit. Damn, is it ever offensive. Personally I wouldn't care very much but does it means that this is the trend that the current new generation coming up is going to adhere to? Such blatant arrogance, frivolity, expenditure and Paris Hilton. Very soon everyone's going to have a neighbour called Jones. Also 'Paris' is one day going to be a verb, a noun and an adjective, depending on how you use it. e.g. "What the Paris?!?!" and "Paris this, bitch!". Additionally, one day someone's going to say, 'Gee, they named a city in France after her.' That or 'There's a city named Paris??'. Paris fucking Hilton. Damn. What is the world coming to? Best thing that ever happened to her was having the video of her cock smoking and shagging made available to the world. She should have government warning stickers plastered all over her. Knowing her, it'll become her statement. She'll appear at a swanky gig just wearing the warning stickers over her naughty bits. She's the archetype of what's going wrong. She and MTV's little rich cunt's birthday show are what wrong with the excesses of the world these days. They make rappers on MTV Cribs, respectable.

What's a danger to young starlets in Hollywood? Sex, drugs, alcohol and Paris Hilton. But I love Paris Hilton. Without her, we'd never know what Lindsay Lohan's and Britney Spears' punanis look like.

You go girl.